Lifeline
by onetreefan
Summary: When time is running out, will pride with set aside so love can interfer? Developing EO. so be nice. LOL. enjoy. I admit it will be sad at some parts, but enjoy the ride!
1. Hidden Discovery

**Hey there! this is a new story. please be nice and read and review! Thanks so much! enjoy your summer! **

Story: Lifeline

Chapter One: Hidden Discovery 

Olivia stared at the empty desk across from her and wondered, _where the hell is he?_ Forever she had loved Elliot. She was born to love him. She could never tell him that. No, no way in hell she could ever let her guard down enough for him to discover the way she loved him. Sure, he was still the only man that knows her above all else. Still, Elliot Stabler was her hidden Knight in Shining Armor, but she couldn't let him see her love and passion for him. Yes, he was a divorced man. But he was her partner. Her lifeline. She stared at his empty desk and remembered the day she met him.

_  
Olivia was standing at the stairs of the 1-6 precinct and hesitated entering the doors. She knew that her dreams and nightmares would become a reality once she entered that building. Ever since the discovery of her mother's rape, Olivia vowed to become a cop and work in the Special Victims Unit, otherwise known as sex crimes. She wanted to fight the battle she was destined to fight. She was destined to fight against men like her father._

As she was about to open the door, someone pulled on the same door and, from sheer force, she landed on top of him. She landed on a body she would have sworn was made of steel. She moved her hair from her face and her eyes landed upon the most amazing blue eyes she had ever seen. She was breathless and was lost. She smiled at the person beneath her until she heard a grunt above them. That ended her daze and she immediately began to apologize and tried to help the man up. "It's okay, your fine," he kept repeating to her. She flashed him an embarrassed but confident smile and looked toward her superior. 

"And who may you be?" the balding man asked. 

She moved her hand to shake the man's hand and answered, "I am Officer Olivia Benson and I am here for the detective position." 

"Well, that's good," she heard the man beast, im sorry, the man she landed on top of, say behind her. "You, my lady, are my new partner. I am Detective Elliot Stabler." He flashed her a heart melting smile. The combination of his eyes and that smile is going to kill her one day, she thought.

"Nice to meet you," she said shaking his hand. 

"Well, since you two now know each other, Stabler, take her to the crime scene. Then get to the ME's office and find out anything about this serial rapist." 

"Yes sir." He said in reply. "Benson, lets head out." 

"Thank you," Olivia said looking back at her new boss.

When they reached the car, she noticed he opened the car door for her and she smiled at him. His eyes danced in the light and she was falling for this newly found hero in every second. "Welcome to Special Victims, Benson. And since this is your first day of the job, I will let you in on a secret." He drove to a Starbucks Drive Threw just passed the station and flashed her another smile. "Always drink coffee. This, my partner, is your lifeline."

That was eight years ago. Eight years of trauma. Eight years of heart ache. Eight years of unspoken truths and tears. She wouldn't give up two minutes of her past with that man. She would never chance losing Elliot Stabler again. 

"Benson!" 

Cragen's yell snapped her out of her daze and she looked up at her boss. "Get your ass in my office, now Benson!" She got up and moved into the office. "Shut the door," he instructed her. Once she did she looked back at him for further direction. "Have a seat." She did so. "What is wrong with you today? You look like you are in another world." 

"Nothings wrong. Im just tired." That was partially true. They had just finished working a four day case. 

"Then I suggest you get some coffee or take a quick nap in the crib or something. You cannot be falling asleep on the job!" 

"Have I ever done that, Captain? Have I ever been that reckless?" 

"No, not yet. I just don't want you day dreaming or whatever the hell it is you were doing when you could be moving your ass. Is that clear?" 

"Yes, Cragen. It is clear." She said harshly.

He looked at his detective and saw her spark come back. He knew what buttons to press to make sure each of his detectives worked at the best of their ability. But Olivia was different. She had different reasons for joining the squad. He has always been impressed with her work ethic and her passion. She and Stabler fit together. His fatherly and her motherly relationship had brought in many perps and have brought a new light to the squad. It has only made New York safer. 

He coughed and moved back behind his desk. "Benson, I need you to go to the hospital and interview a victim. Mercy General just called and they said that she knows who did this to her. It should be an open-shut case. Can you do that?" 

"What about Stabler?" she asked. "Where is he?" 

"He will be here tomorrow. He had some personal affair to take care of." 

"Captain, Elliot's been divorced for at least a year. He shouldn't be handling legal affairs. Captain, tell me where my partner is. Where is Elliot?" 

"Olivia, he will be here tomorrow. Now no more questions or I will have your badge! Is that understood Detective Benson?" 

"Yes sir." As the room filled with silence for a few more moments, Olivia stood up and began to head out. "Benson, do what I said. Go to Mercy General. As I said, it should be an open-shut case." 

"I understand." 

As Olivia drove down the streets of New York toward the hospital, she was furious. How dare Cragen not tell her where Elliot is? He was her partner. She had a right to know. And where was Elliot? Why wouldn't he tell her where he was? Those questions filled her mind as she entered the hospital. She walked through the East Wing doors and found a nurse at the front desk. "Hello. My name is Detective Benson and I am here to see a rape victim. We got a call saying that she is ready to talk to us." 

"Oh yes, Ms. Grover. She is in room 219." 

"Thank you." As she wandered the white halls, her eyes landed on the patient in room 214. She looked in and saw a familiar face. He was lying in the bed in his gown as blood was being removed in several tubes. He was connected to several monitors and his IV was draped over his Marine tattoo. She stared into the room with tears in her eyes and hoarsely whispered to herself, "Elliot?" 

**What is Elliot doing in a hospital? What will Olivia say? Find out next chapter! **

Tell me what you think! Review and I'll write more... 


	2. Broken Confession

**thank you so much for your lovely reviews. They mean so much! I'd like to thank Kaydencerei for her thoughts on the story idea before it was posted. So thank you all for your reviews. Hope you enjoy this. The more reviews, the quicker I can update, so keep it up. Thanks guys!**

disclaimer- I don't anyone but the victims or perps. Just names thought of. smiles. 

back story- look at chapter one.

Chapter 2- Broken Confession

Olivia stared through the small window of room 214 and stared in heart break and shock. _Why was Elliot there?_ she thought to herself. _He is her partner. Her best friend. He would tell her if something was wrong, right? Is this what Cragen is keeping from her? What is wrong with the only love of my life?_

She slowly stepped back from the door and pulled out her phone. She made her way outside the hospital wing doors and dialed Fin's number. She couldn't think of the victim right now. She needed some answers. 

When Fin answered the phone, he seemed bored. He and John were probably on a break and making more meaningless money-losing bet on useless activities. "This is Fin," he answered into the phone.

"Fin, are you and John busy right now?" 

"Benson? What the hell do you need? Its our first break since last night." He said in exhaustion.

"I have some personal affairs I need to take care of right now. I need you two to talk to a victim here at Mercy General." 

"You okay, Olivia?" 

"Yeah, I'll be fine. Cragen said this should be an open-shut case. So if you guys can do that for me, I'd owe you big time." 

"All right no problem. What's the vic's name?" 

"Last name Grover. Didn't catch the first. Im sorry I need to go." 

"Good luck." Fin said as she hung up the phone abruptly. 

Olivia stormed back into the hospital and marched to room 214. She wanted answers and needed to here them from one and only one man. When she looked into the room, he was gone. She stared with disbelief and began to look around. She went to the nurse who she was talking to before and asked, "Excuse me. The man in room 214, where did he go?" 

"Oh Mr. Stabler? He's such a nice guy. Can be cranky sometimes, but a very good man. Um, his treatments just finished and since its not recommended or safe that he drives after the treatments, we called him a cab. Um, did you talk to Ms. Grover?" 

Olivia's mind was in a million different places. _Treatments? Why does Elliot need treatments._ When the nurse pressed her hand against Olivia's arm, she snapped back into reality. "Im sorry, What?" 

"Ms. Grover, Detective. Did you speak to her?" 

"No, my coworkers Detectives Munch and Tutuola will be here shortly. Thank you." 

She left the hospital and moved straight to her car. She drove through the rainy day and by instinct made her way to Elliots. The rain had moved toward Times Square, so he was out doing busy work. She stared at him from across the street. He was simply raking the leaves from his yard. _Nothing can be wrong with Elliot. He is my rock. My sense of goodness and humanity when she feels there isn't any. My heart..._

"Liv!" Elliot said knocking on her window. 

She snapped back into reality and got out of the car and took him in her arms. She wrapped his arms around her and she took in his scent. She moved her hands and moved them up to his chest. 

"Wow," he whispered at her unexpected closeness. She seemed to have pushed him away these past few weeks and now here she was in his arms. "Everything okay, Liv?" 

With fires of anger and need in her eyes, she stood back and slapped him across the face. The sting could be heard and felt down the entire neighborhood. "What the hell is wrong with you, Elliot? Why wouldn't you tell me if something was wrong with you?" 

He looked into her eyes and it broke his heart. He read her confusion and her hurt. He saw her worry and he saw her fear. He moved his hands up and down her shoulders and stared down at her. "Liv, lets take this inside, okay?" 

She nodded her head and they made their way up his stairs and into the living room. It consisted of many pictures of his kids and them. Just random shots of them together. She moved to his couch and stared at her partner. He moved over to the mantle where the fire burned up to the chimney. "What did Cragen tell you?" He asked.

"He told me nothing. He almost fired me when I asked where you were this afternoon," she said looking down into her hands. 

He smirked at her comment. Then his tone grew serious once again, "How did you find out about the treatments?" 

"I saw you today, in room 214 at Mercy General. At first I thought you were giving blood or something, until the nurse said that you were having treatments done. I came straight here after that." She got up and moved to him next to the mantle. He wasn't looking at her. "Elliot, please tell me what's wrong? Why were you in the hospital today?" 

He looked back at her with sad eyes and smiled at her. "I think you need to sit down." Her heart stopped. Whenever she heard the words _sit down_, they always bring something bad. One of the times was when her mom admitted she was a product of rape. Another when she learned her mother died. She remembered when Elliot told her of his divorce. They were sitting on her couch in her apartment and she let him cry. Now she was about to sit again and she knew that she was going to break soon. 

"Olivia, at my two year check up since my fear of having HIV, some doctors tested my blood and we got some bad results." She had a shocked look in her eyes and he grabbed her hands. "Liv, its not HIV, but apparently I am very sick. I have a form of Leukemia that is very dangerous. I need to go into the hospital every week for treatments. That is the only reason Cragen is keeping me on the squad right now. Im sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I didn't want to worry you." 

_Leukemia?_ Now that wasn't an answer she was expecting. Her heart was shattered and the love of her life was literally slipping away. She stayed silent as he held her hands and tried to explain it to her. She looked up into his eyes and saw a thin layer of tears over his eyes. That alone made her tears fall silently. When she gain whatever composure she could muster, she looked at him and asked, "Do the kids know?" 

"Yeah, they do. Maureen tries to come over when she knows I have treatments, but I told her that school came first. Kathleen calls at least once a day to talk. Lizzie and Dickie are heartbroken. I have never seen them more hurt. Even through the divorce. I told them they can stay with me whenever they would like. Dickie actually ran away and came here. I had to explain that he couldn't run away from his mom, but I will live here. He tries to be so tough, you know?" 

"Like his father," Liv whispered, tears evident in her voice. He smiled at her and continued to rub her hands. She was his strength and his weakness. "How did Kathy take the news?" Olivia asked. 

"She's been nice through all of this. When I told her, she and her boyfriend talked to me about all the possible treatments and such. She has been very good about custody throughout all of this. I think I see the kids more than I did when we were married," he said sadly. "I told her not to worry too much because of her new baby on the way, but you know Kathy. She's stubborn. If Im with the kids, she'll bring dinner." He smiled sadly at his partner who was barely holding in her strength. He could see her walls coming down with every word. 

"El, why didn't you tell me?" Olivia asked looking into his eyes.

"I was afraid I was going to lose you," he admitted. "I knew if you knew, this would be real. I wished that for some reason you would never have to know, but I guess that didn't happen," he said as his pain was released through his voice. 

"Elliot," she said finding herself in his arms. "I am and always be your best friend. You won't lose me. Never. I will be here forever." With those words, she finally sobbed into his chest as he held her. They both cried in the night and she held him never intending to let go. She knew her time with him was running down now. They fell asleep in the sadness and exhaustion in the room. Each holding on to the other for dear life.

**okay, thank you for reading and please review! the more reviews, the quicker i'll update! _smiles_ **


	3. Hard Truths Realized

** Thank you so much to my lovely reviewers. It always means so much.**

Chapter 3- Hard Truths Realized 

Olivia woke up first that morning and stared at the man she fell asleep on. She took in his features and the small movements he made when he dreamed. She didn't remember them having a blanket last night, but there was one now. She looked on the coffee table next to them and saw a note which read Dad and Liv. She reached for it and read it to herself letting Elliot sleep.

_Morning Dad and Liv. _

I came by this morning to see how you were, but you two looked exhausted. Dad, I'll call you today at some point. Just be careful. I'll call you, too, Liv. We should do coffee or something. 

Love ya both. Pleasant Dreams.

Maureen.

"She's a stubborn one, isn't she." Elliot said rubbing up and down her arms. 

He was the only man that didn't make her jump with slightly intimate comments or touches. She turned and faced him, unconsciously patting his chest. "Hey, how do you feel this morning?" 

"Surprisingly relieved." 

"Relieved?" She said giving him a questioning look.

"Yes, relieved." He pulled her back down to him and took a deep breath. They both knew this was new territory for them, but he couldn't question it. Not now. Not now that she knows. "It means a lot that you are sticking around, even after learning what's wrong with me." 

"El, why wouldn't I stay?" She said holding him tighter.

"Im afraid that I will lose you. That if you knew, you wouldn't want to stand by a sick man." He looked out the window and stayed silent for a moment. He then laughed slightly and held her closer. "But you did stay. You didn't run away after finding out the truth. Thank you." 

"El?" 

"What?" 

"How is Cragen letting you stay on the job?" "He said I can stay until my illness interferes with my job. And that's what I intend on doing." 

"What do you want me to do, El?" 

"Just be here." He closed his eyes trying to get a quick nap in before heading to work, "Just be with me, Liv." 

** 3 Weeks Later **

Olivia promised to keep his secret under wraps. Not even Cragen knew she knew. She would now know before when he was having treatment, so it never surprised her. She still hadn't admitted to him that she loved him, but there was always tomorrow, right? 

The Grover Case happened to be more complicated than what Cragen initially said it was. The perp, right after raping Ms. Grover, took a plane to Jamaica for three weeks. Because it was American Territory, they couldn't arrest him until he returned. When Louis Rodriguez returned to the United States, Munch and Fin were on the scene to arrest him immediately. 

Unfortunately, he refused to confess to the crime. Ms. Grover even IDed Rodriguez as her attacker. Evidence from the rape kit proved that he was the man who raped her. It was Stabler and Benson's job to get the truth out of this bastard.

Cragen, Huang and the two detective stood looking into the interrogation room. There sat Mr. Rodriguez antsy in his seat continuously looking at the clock. 

"So you guys know what to do?" Huang asked. He explained his profile to them earlier so they could have an idea on what they are up against. 

Elliot looked at Olivia and smirked at Huang. "Always." 

Olivia was apprehensive and grabbed his hand before entering the interrogation room. "What is it Liv?" He asked looking at her with curious eyes.

"Why don't we let Munch and Fin handle this?" She whispered to him. "You just had treatments..." 

"Yesterday, Liv," he responded cutting her off. "Remember what I told you. I will continue doing my job until it interferes with it. Don't be so damn worried." 

She wanted to cry. She looked at him and knew he didn't have the strength needed to interrogate this man. She didn't want to fight him so she looked down to the ground and against her better judgment, apologized.

"There's nothing to apologize for, Liv." He smiled and they entered the interrogation room to attack this bastard. 

About half way through the interrogation, Rodriguez looked like he was ready to confess. Elliot moved over to him and shoved the chair he was sitting in away a few feet. Olivia stood on the side and kept a watch on the scene at hand. Elliot shouted, "You did that to her. You were pissed she turned you down. So you followed her the grocery store and waited for her in the alley. When she was walking home, you pulled her in and raped her three times! Three! And then to top it off, you left her there and you ran away to Jamaica for three weeks! What kind of man are you!" 

"I didn't rape her!" Rodriguez shouted back. 

Elliot suddenly turned very pale. He took a step back to try and grasp the reality of his situation. Everything was spinning. He felt like he was going to throw up, but the only thing that was going to happen was him passing out. He looked at Olivia and was afraid. "Liv? Im sorry..." He called out before passing out on the interrogation room floor. 

"NO!" Olivia yelled pushing the perp into the wall to make her way to her unconscious partner. "No, No baby, NO! Elliot, don't you dare do this to me! Not now! Not now... I need some help," she yelled out in urgency. "It will be okay, El. Just hold on for me, okay." He looked so cold to her. His arms were clammy and his breathing was slow. "Elliot, damn it don't do this to me! Damn it I need you. You are my rock. It will be okay baby. Im right here, and I love you." 

She said it out loud for the first time. The only one to hear it was a perp going back down to his cell. 

Cragen entered the room and saw the heartbreaking sight in front of him. His top detectives, both completely vulnerable, and the conscious one completely heartbroken. "Benson, you need to let him go. He needs to get to the paramedics." 

"There's no way in hell Im leaving him, Don. He's my partner." She looked down at Elliot in her lap as tears fell down her face. "I love him, Don." 

"I know you do, Olivia. I know." 

He gave a supporting hand on her shoulder as the paramedics entered the room. Olivia refused to leave his side. She went with them in the ambulance to the emergency room. She kept repeating to him, "Stay strong, El. I love you. Liv is here. Stay strong." 

When they arrived at the hospital, Olivia showed her badge and walked with him until a nurse stopped her and told her, "Im sorry, mam. We need to take it from here. We'll come and get you once he's conscious. All right?" 

"No, no, I need to be with him." Olivia told the nurse.

"Im sorry mam, its against policy. We will come find you if we know anything at all. Stay here." The nurse then rushed back into the room and Olivia was left alone. 

She looked through the window and saw them rip off his shirt and inject IV's in him. He seemed so helpless. She burst into tears and fell to her knees. She cried and said, "I love him, God. Please don't take him from me. I love him. I love him..." 

She soon found the strength to get up and move to the waiting room. She couldn't sit. Not with Elliot in there. Her heart broke just waiting for answers.

** there you go. what will happen to elliot? find out next chapter! **


	4. Some Needed Answers

** okay, this chapter I dedictate to all who have review this story so far! some who I know have are: KaydenceRei, shippergrl25, SVUCHICA48, GiggleGloWorm9987, FutureMrsStabler, Neela149, tamasit1, liviafan1, bunnylink0897, and BrittanyLS. You guys and all you readers out there help keep this story going! thank you! **

Also Congrats to Chris Meloni and Mariska Hartigay on their emmy nominations! Im rooting for ya! 

now here's chapter 4! R&R! 

Chapter Four- Some Needed Answers 

Olivia sat with the back of her head against the wall and her eyes closed. Her thoughts, prayers and wishes were all with the man behind those doors. She focused on every memory, every innocent touch and everything she hadn't done with that man. She no longer had anymore tears left to cry and she stared at the doors waiting for anyone to come out.

She told him she loved him. Sure he was unconscious, but the fact remained that she said the words. _What would he say?_ she thought to herself. _Does he feel the same way?_ She pulled her hands into her lap and remembered him lying there. How much fear still ran in her veins that she might lose him. No matter what he said, he had to know. He had to know she loved him.

Her thought suddenly shifted when she saw the doctor and nurse from when they first arrived walk through the doors. "Im looking for an Olivia Stabler." 

"Im sorry, its Olivia Benson. Elliot is my partner." She said walking up to the physicians. 

"Im sorry, he was calling for an Olivia. I just assumed you were his wife. I apologize." The doctor said to Olivia. 

"That's no problem. Please just update me on Elliot's condition." 

"Now, it seems Mr. Stabler has overworked himself. With the medications we give him in treatments, he shouldn't be at work at all. We have suggested the idea of chemo, but he said he won't consider it. Maybe you can speak with him." 

"Sure, anything I can do to help," she said. 

"Okay, he is in room 118. Also, Ms. Benson, do you know his living situation?" 

"Um, he's been divorced for a while now, so he lives alone. His daughters come by a lot since he's received treatments." 

"Well, if there is any way he can move in with someone, it would be better for him. He shouldn't be alone in his condition." 

"Im sorry, doctor, I have one more question." 

"Sure, what is it that you need Ms. Benson?" 

This was going to be the hardest question she had ever asked in her life. "Um... How long... um... Im sorry..." She took a deep breath to try and gain some composure to finish her question. "How long does he have, doctor?" 

The nurse noticed the tears threatening to escape her eyes and held her hand. The doctor answered her, "Ms. Benson. Because Mr. Stabler refuses treatment, we don't see him living longer than 6-9 months. Im sorry." 

Her heart stopped at the time the doctor gave her. The threatening tears won and escaped her eyes. They were silent for a minute and then looked back at them. "May I see him?" 

"Yes. Once he has a place to stay, he can leave." The doctor and nurse left her and she made her way down the hall. 

When she stepped into his room, his eyes were closed. He wasn't asleep though. He took deeper breaths when he slept and his chest sunk lower. She wiped away the tears and moved to the chair beside him. 

Elliot woke up remembering her words. _I love you, El._ He stirred in the hospital bed but refused to open his eyes. He didn't need a reminder to see where he was. However, he felt calmer. He felt her enter the room and looked and saw her beside her. "Hey," he said in a groggy tone. 

"Shhh..." she said standing up giving him a kiss on the forehead, "Rest now." 

Her lip prints seemed to burn his skin and he melted from her warmth. He opened his eyes and took in her appearance. He saw the tear stains on her cheeks and her defeated slump. "I need to ask you something, Liv." 

She took his hand and looked up at him with tears in her eyes. She couldn't speak or her tears would win. She nodded and he continued. "Did you mean it?" 

She swallowed. "Mean what?" 

"When you said you loved me, did you mean it?" 

She lifted her head and stared intently into his deep blue gaze. She took her hand and moved it over his face. "Yes," she said with another tear escaping her eyes, "Every word." 

"Good, because I love you, too. I have for a long time." He smiled at her. "Come here," he said motioning her to him. She obliged and was met with his lips. Their kiss was sweet and soft and long. It was filled with the love they had held for each other for years. When it ended, she looked into his eyes and kissed him lightly on the nose. She sat on the bed and they stayed in silence. 

They stared at each other for a while and she leaned in and kissed him again. "I have a proposition for you, detective." 

"What?" He said with a smile.

"Why don't you move in with me?" She saw his stunned features and laughed. "The doctors said you shouldn't live alone. If you don't mind, I'd like to live with you." She put on a shy smile and looked down at their hands on her lap.

"I'd like that, Liv. I'd like that a lot." She smiled and kissed him again, more passionately and hungry than the first. He moaned at her touch and she smiled at his persistence. "Not here," he mumbled to her lips. "Wait until we get home." 

"Home?" she said with tears coming back in her eyes.

"Home." 

He smiled back at her and leaned in to kiss her when the doctor came back in. "I guess I know what your living arrangements are now, don't I Mr. Stabler?" 

Olivia blushed at the comment and Elliot laughed, tightening his hold on her hands. "Well, its safe to say you do," he said smiling at him. 

"Well, not to burst your bubble, but we need an answer." 

"An answer?" 

"Yes. Mr. Stabler, we need to know if you are going to receive the chemotherapy. You would have more treatments, but it might help your chances." 

He stared at Olivia and saw the pain in her eyes. He knew that their time together was running out, but he loved her for almost ten years. He looked into her eyes and longed for her spark. He knew that those treatment didn't guarantee that he had longer time with her. He shook his head and looked back at the doctor. "Im sorry, but my answer is no." 

"But El..." 

"No, Liv. Im not going to do something that doesn't guarantee that we get more time together." He saw the tears pool in her eyes and he lifted his hand on her warm cheek. "I would rather die knowing that I lived the last of it to the fullest with the woman I loved than go through more and more painful exhausting treatments to die in the same amount of time." He caught the tears that escaped her eyes and wiped them away. He turned back to the doctor. "Again, Im sorry, doctor, but I can't do it without guarantees." 

"I understand Mr. Stabler. I'd like to see you for treatments next week." 

"It is already scheduled." 

"Okay, your forms are complete, so you are free to leave when you choose." 

"Who filled them out?" 

"I did." Olivia said looking into his eyes. "I thought you knew that by now." She smiled and kissed him lightly on the cheek." 

"I should be going," the doctor said. "I'll see you next week, Mr. Stabler." 

"Thank you doctor," Olivia said as he left. When he left she turned to him and smiled sadly at him. "Are you sure you are okay with this?" 

"Yeah," he said kissing her. "I want to be with you," he kissed her leaning his forehead against hers, "while I still can." 

"Don't," she said pushing her lips against his. "Not now." She stared into his eyes and smiled at him. "Lets get you home, El." 

** How will Elliot and Olivia live their lives together while he's still alive? Find out next. Well, there's that. Read and Review and I'll update soon! Thanks again, guys!**


	5. Forever

**Okay, this here is chapter 5. It was kinda hard to write. simply because i've been so busy these past couple days. I hope it doesn't disappoint. I would love to thank the people who reviewed last chapter: KaydenceRei, TruLuv, lionessLeo, obsessedwithstabler, neela149, SVUCHICA48, LivElLittle, tamasit1, sex's author, and FutureMrsStabler. You readers and reviewers helped keep me inspired, so thank you! continue to R&R! its great when you do.**

also, I don't own anything or anyone. Im just an EO fan releasing the tensions of her life with writing! smiles!

Chapter 5- Forever 

Olivia went out to front desk to make sure all the paperwork was taken care of. She decided that Elliot could get dressed to leave in that time. When she returned to the room, he was sitting on the bed clad in only a pair of jeans with his back to her. He was stretching his arms and back. The movements he made his muscles tighten and in his release, they returned to their strong preference. His skins form alone turned her on. The moans he grunted from release of the tension heated her up in the doorway. She wanted to moved her hands up and down his back and tease his perfected muscular frame. She didn't realize she made movements toward him until she heard him say, "See something you like, Benson?" 

She stumbled out of her trance and Elliot smiled at her choppy movements. It only made him love her more. She moved up in front of him with his shirt in tow and smirked at him. "Are you about ready to leave?" 

"Yeah. As soon as this shirts on." He glanced at her strong posture. He saw love in his eyes and felt her warmth from her eyes. He looked at her with playful eyes and she felt his blue gaze on her. "Would you like to help me?" he asked in a playful manner in hopes for a teasing answer.

She looked at him and laughed. "Not here, Mr. Stabler. Let's get you to the apartment and maybe, if you are good, you can have some assistance," she said with a wink.

He rolled his eyes as his t-shirt made its way over his frame and he smiled at her once again. "Finally, time to head out!" 

"Okay, buster," she said reaching for his hand. "The car is right outside. Do you need me to drive it up?" 

"Liv, I am perfectly capable of walking to the car." 

"El, I don't know. You are weaker..." 

"No!" He said cutting her off. "I can walk to the sedan. Okay, Liv?" 

She stood with tears in her eyes and admired his defiant stance. She squeezed his hand and smiled at him. "Let's go." 

The walk was harder for him than he thought it would be. Olivia could see his face growing paler with every dozen yards. He refused to admit defeat and they reached the car. When she let him in the passenger side, he smiled at her a bright smile in spite of his weakness. "See, Liv. You gotta stop doubting my strengths," he said with a chuckle. 

She gave him a sad smile and closed the door behind him. She walked to her side and stopped at the back. She rubbed her hand over her eyes and took a deep breath. "No tears, Liv," she mumbled to herself. "El doesn't need to see you fall apart." She straightened her top and made her way to the drivers seat and glanced at Elliot, who was half-asleep. She took his hand and squeezed it tightly, but lovingly. "Let's go home." 

As she drove back to the apartment, he had fallen asleep. She loved staring at him as he slept. If he was sleeping at the crib or on her couch, she would take advantage of that opportunity and study his relaxed features. His face was built strong and his chin remained tight. As he breathed, his ears would move slightly. She still hand her hand in his as she drove down the busy New York streets. Her thoughts began to take a turn for the darker when she saw how pale his skin was. It absolutely broke her heart. _The man that I love is slowly being taken from me,_ she thought to herself. _This man, who forever stood as the pinnacle of human strength and perfection is dying right in front of me and I can't do anything to save him._

Tears threatened to spill from her eyes when she shook her head of those thoughts. "Now now," she whispered to herself. They were at a stoplight and she turned to him. "He's with me now," she whispered to herself once more. "That's all that matters now." She listened to the silence of her car and decided she wanted to hear some music. She turned on the radio and listened to the rock station that she had programmed in her system. The song was Forever, by Kenny Loggins was playing.

Forever in my heart

Forever we will be

Even when Im gone

You'll be here in me

Forever

  
Her tears exploded from her eyes and she hit the brakes, turning fiercely to her street. She slammed her hand against the radio button to shut it off and yelped with her voice evident of unshed tears. "Damn it! Screw the radio!" 

Elliot had heard the entire admission. He sat up and looked at the love of his life and his heart broke. He knew she wouldn't want to break in front of him. He moved his hand to rub her shoulder as she drove down the block to her parking space. "You okay, Liv?" 

"Yeah," she said wiping her tears and praying he didn't hear her. "Im fine. We are here." She parked the car and quickly made her way to him. She grabbed his arm and led him into the apartment. "Here you go," she said leading him into the apartment. "Take your shoes off and make yourself at home." 

"Thank you Olivia," he said seeing her shuffle through her apartment. 

"El, why don't you give Maureen a call. Let her know your new situation." 

"Liv, its 10:30 at night. With my condition, if I call this late, she will think something is wrong. I can call her in the morning." 

She glanced at the clock and smiled sheepishly. "Is it really that late?" 

"Not late for me, but yeah, it is." 

She quickly made her way into the linen closet and pulled out some sheets and blankets for herself on the couch. "El, you are going to take my room until I buy myself a new bed. It's perfectly fine. Go ahead and get some rest." 

He saw her move to him and give him a quick kiss on the lips. She then turned and made her way to the couch to make up the bed. He knew she was continuously moving to keep her from thinking of the inevitable. "Liv?" he whispered hoarsely.

She stopped and turned to him. In the darkness with the moonlight shining upon his body, it made him appear so strong. He looked at her and smiled at her. "Come to bed." 

"Elliot, Im just making up my bed--" 

"No, Liv." He took her hand and kissed it. "Come to bed with me." 

"El, you can't do this right now. You can get hurt." 

"Liv, that's not what Im asking of you right now. Im asking you to come to bed. With me." He found his way in front of her kissed her passionately. His tongue explored the depths of her mouth and she moaned from the pleasure he was creating in her. "Come to bed with me where you belong." 

She looked up at his heated blue stare and nodded. He took her hand and led her to the room and closed the door behind him. He left her standing at the edge of her bed and went to her drawers and pulled out a pair of her pajamas. He made his way back to her and stood in front of her, placing her night apparel onto the bed. His hands found his way to her her shirt and he smoothly lifted it over her head. He took in her appearance and absorbed her beauty. After tracing her outline smoothly with his fingertips, he unbuttoned her slacked and pushed them off her body. She stepped out of them and stared at him intently. He remained on his knees as he retrieved her pajama bottoms from the bed. He took them and opened them so her feet could step into them. As his hands made his way up her legs to her waist, the silk fabric followed. He stopped at her waist and the fabric placed itself at her hips. He was standing in front of her once again and unhooked her bra with his hands. He pushed down the straps with grace and let the lace cover fall to the ground along with the rest of her clothing. She reached up to cover her breasts when his hands stopped her arms. 

"El, stop." 

"No, Olivia," he said kissing shoulder, along her collar bone, up to her jaw and hovering over her lips. "You're beautiful." He kissed her softly and his hands found her shirt on the bed. She lifted her arms over her head and he covered her with it. 

When she was clothed, she smiled at him and kissed him deeply. "It's your turn, Elliot." 

"I only sleep in my boxers," he commented kissing her neck. 

She smiled at him and slowly removed his jean jacket. There laid his blue t-shirt sculpting his body. Her hands found the bottom of his shirt and slowly lifted it over his head. She took in his body and memorized every muscle and every movement. "You are amazing," she said softly breathing over his skin. She made her way to his jeans and removed his belt. It fell to the floor and she slowly unbuckled his jeans. She then removed them from his body and took in every feeling of flesh she felt, memorizing everything about him. His touch. His scent. There would be a time for taste, but ut wasn't now. Once he stepped out of his jeans, she stood up and kissed him deeply, wrapping her arms around him. "Let's go to bed," she whispered to him. She led him to the bed and let him enter the bed first. As by instinct, she knew he would want to sleep by the window. She crawled into bed and held onto him tightly. Her fears of losing him quickly remained in the back of her mind and she held onto him as if he was to leave her. As she rested her head on his bare chest, she looked up at him who was playing with her hair. She kissed him passionately and looked into his eyes. "I love you Elliot," she whispered to him. 

"I love you too, Olivia." 

"Goodnight, my love." She said closing her eyes and using him as her pillow. 

He looked down at his love in his arms and kissed her softly on her head. "I will love you, forever, my love. Forever." 

With those words, she broke down completely and cried into him. No more words needed to be said and she could feel him beneath her. Their tears were quiet and they fell asleep in acceptance of truths and unconditional love. 

**Well, there's chapter 5. R&R and I'll update soon. Again, lots of thank you's to all yoiu readers and reviewers! **


	6. Time for Some Questions

**I would again, love to thank all of you who read and review this story. it means so much when you guys do. it helps keep this story going, so thank you SO much:LivElLittle, SVUCHICA48, mstang.gurl, KaydenceRei, Rexy07, Neela149, liviafan1, tamasit1, Svu Cutie, LivElRocks a lot.**

Again, all reviews and thoughts are encouraged. Thank you and enjoy this latest update...

Chapter 6- Time for some questions 

A few weeks passed since the incident and Elliot and Olivia managed to hide their relationship from the precinct. The kids handled the news of Elliot's new living situation very well. They all viewed Olivia as a second mother. There wasn't any doubt in Maureen's mind that her father would find his way to his partner after the divorce. She was just surprised in how long it took them to get there. 

When Elliot returned to work, he was put on desk duty for a week. He found himself staying in the crib or the workout room. He found himself praying more than he did and was thankful for the blessings in his life.

He and Olivia's relationship was amazing. They still hadn't made love, but that was her doing, not his. He always saw fear in her eyes when they would reach a certain point... the thin line of control. He knew her fear wasn't for herself, but for him. It was one of the many things he loved about her. He would try and kiss away her fear with understanding long kisses, but knew neither of them wanted to be coddled. He was happiest when he held her in his arms with their breathing in time with one another.

Elliot and Olivia were driving down to the precinct when Elliot's phone rang off. He answered it and smiled into the phone. Olivia stared at him curiously and he laughed at the face she was making. "See you soon," he said ending the phone conversation. 

"Who was that?" Olivia asked.

"No one. Im going to drop you off at the precinct and I'll be in soon. Cragen knows." 

"Wait, why?" she asked frustrated from her lack of information.

"I... uh..." he had to think fast. "I have an appointment." 

"What, with treatments?" she said giving him wide eyes.

"No, no. A dentist appointment," he said trying to cover it up.

"I thought you had a dentist appointment last week?" she asked suspicious of his statement.

"I did, I have a cavity. Nothing to worry about," he said pulling up to the precinct. "I will see you soon." He leaned in and kissed her deeply. "I love you," he said taking in her deep brown eyes. 

She smiled at him and gave him another long deep kiss as her fingers had her hands go through his hair. "I love you too, but we cannot do this here. We'll get caught." 

"Who cares?" he grinned at her playfully kissing behind her ear down her neck.

She moaned in pleasure and stopped him and found herself looking into his lustrous blue eyes. "If you don't stop, I won't be able to." 

"Is that a promise," he said with a wink. She smirked at him and got out of the car. "I'll see you soon." 

"Bye," she said heading up for the precinct. She was met with Fin paying Munch a wad of money and grinned. "What bet is it this time, John?" 

John smirked at her and laughed, "Um, it was how long it was going to take for you and Stabler to hook up." 

She went wide and began to stammer, trying to come up with an excuse before Fin cut her off. "Don't try and deny it, Benson. We saw you with your tongue down his throat in the car just now." 

"And you are kind of flushed," Munch said in a teasing tone. 

"Shut up," Olivia said moving passed her two laughing coworkers. She moved to her desk and stared at the picture of her and Elliot on her desk. They were at the Annual Police Christmas Formal and he was giving her a hug. _He must have known even then_ she thought to herself. 

She was in a daze when she heard her boss say, "Benson! Where the hell is Stabler?" 

She shot her head up in surprise and looked at him with suspicion. "He had a dentist appointment. He told me you knew." 

His eyes went wide and then turned away from her saying , "Oh... that's right. Um... Benson! You, Munch and Fin go to the scene and then meet with Warner about any physical evidence at the scene." 

She gave him a suspicious look and then walked out with the other two detectives to the crime scene.

Elliot entered the coffee shop and saw his oldest daughter sitting at their usual both. He smiled and made his way to her. She stood up and gave him a hug before returning to her seat. "Daddy, I ordered you a espresso roasted coffee. I know you hate creamer, so I put it in mine." He took in his oldest's mature nature and grabbed her hand to quiet her. She stared at him with matching blue eyes and spoke softly. "How are you, daddy?" 

"Okay, baby. Okay." 

"How is it living with Olivia now?" She said with a smile.

"Wonderful. The transition has been so easy for us. We actually arrive to the precinct earlier." 

She laughed at that thought and took a big gulp of her beverage. "Are treatments going okay for you? Are you able to relax?" 

"Baby girl, on days that I have treatments, I just want to throw every person I know out the window because they badger me with questions on the lines of how Im doing and such." 

"Well, who exactly knows, Daddy?" she asked with a curious stare. 

"Okay, lets see. There is Liv, you, your mother, your brother and sisters, Grandma Stabler and the Captain. Not too many baby." He saw her find her strength in her movements and saw himself in her. As she got older, her emotions were bottled up, but he remember recent years where it only took one comment to make her sob the night away. He smiled looking at his brave daughter now and squeezed her hand tighter.

"Daddy, when are you leaving SVU?" she asked taking a deep sip of her drink.

He looked down into his coffee and subconsciously whirled the liquid around the mug with his spoon. He looked up at matching blue eyes once again and smiled sadly, "Im going to talk to Cragen today after this to see about my leave in three months. I want to spend as much time with you, your siblings and Olivia as I can before..." He looked into her eyes which were beginning to well up with tears. He spoke with tears evident in his voice. "Can you get away for about a week sometime in the near future? I was thinking that you and your brother and sisters, Olivia and I should go to Disneyland. You know, I have never been to California Adventure." He smiled sadly at her and held her hand. "We'd have a good time, baby girl." 

Her tears escaped her and she sobbed silently. He moved to her and held her close quieting her with comforting words. A waitress saw the scene before her and quickly turned around not to invade their space. When Maureen stopped crying, she looked up into her father's eyes and she smiled at him. "Im sorry," she whispered, wiping her eyes.

"Don't be." He kissed her forehead and moved back to his seat. "It is okay to cry once in a while, Maureen." 

"It's a sign of weakness," she whispered to herself.

"No, its a sign of love and humanity," he said holding onto her hand. 

She looked into his eyes and remembered one of the reasons for their meeting. "I have it for you." 

She dug into her purse and handed him the velvet box. He didn't need to look inside he and he stuck it into his pocket. "When did you get this?" 

"Grandma Stabler sent it to me when I graduated. She said to use it in the right time. No time or purpose is better than this, Dad." She moved and squeezed his hand when she felt her cell phone vibrate against her hip. "Hold on Daddy." 

"No its okay. Im going to head to the precinct." 

"Okay," she said getting up and hugging him goodbye. "Ask Liv if you guys are free tomorrow night. We should have dinner." 

"I think we'd like that baby. Good luck. I love you." He turned and headed toward the door. 

"I love you too," she whispered to him as he left her. When she knew he was gone, she went to her car and cried heavy sobs. The greatest man she had ever known was dying in front of her and found herself hopeless.

Elliot walked into the empty precinct and smiled at the cold cup of coffee on Olivia's desk. He rested his coat on the coat rack by the door and moved to his desk. He saw a picture of him and Olivia on his desk and smiled at it. It was a halloween party and she came as Snow White. He was Prince Charming. They never even planned it. The picture showed him picking her up in his arms and they both laughing. It was a silly picture and he was happy to have it on his desk. 

Cragen saw the silent man at his desk and moved next to him. "Elliot." He looked up with a pair of sad eyes and Cragen nodded his head. "Lets go to my office." He led the way and Elliot followed him.

"Have a seat," he said motioning the chair in front of his desk. They sat in silence and had an understanding. "When will you be gone?" Cragen asked in a dark tone.

"Probably three months, give and take a few days when it comes to a case." 

Cragen nodded and stared at his detective once again. "How is Benson handling all of this?" 

"Olivia is doing okay. She and I have become closer. She's been very supportive through this." He didn't want to ruin her reputation in the department by revealing that they had a romantic relationship outside work. Though he couldn't care less what people thought of him, he knew Olivia did. So he kept their love a secret from their boss and coworkers. 

"Does she know you're here with me right now." 

"No, no she doesn't" he said in reply. Cragen nodded and they stayed silent for minutes. 

"You know, I can remember all the great police work you have done for the department throughout the years. I can preach to you about how invaluable you are to his precinct. I can tell you that I have been blessed to see you grow has a human being throughout the years that I have known you. But, I won't do that, though. You deserve the truth. You deserve the best." He made his way around the desk and stared at a pair of crystal blue eyes. "You have lived your life to be a fierce protector. I have learned lessons from you these past years that you do not get from school or the academy. You are a good man and it has been an honor to have known you." 

Elliot stood up and shook his hand. "Thank you sir. It has been an honor and a privilage." 

"Well you aren't off the hook, yet Stabler. Get back to work." 

Elliot smiled and exited his office to see Olivia sitting at her desk with her head in her hands. He moved to her and kneeled in front of her. "Liv, you okay?" She looked up and took him up to the roof. When the door closed, she pulled him into her arms and held him. "Liv, what's wrong?" 

"When I came back and you weren't here, I got scared. And when I saw you in Cragen's office, my heart stopped. I was so afraid about what you were talking about. If something were to happen to you too soon, I don't know what I'd do." She squeezed him tightly as he soothed her with his touch.

"Im right here. Cragen and I were discussing when Im going to leave SVU. Its not going to be another few months. Don't worry, baby. Its okay." 

"Im sorry. I was worried about you." 

"It's okay." 

"Where were you this morning? Don't say you were at the dentist, because I know perfectly well that you didn't." 

"Maureen and I met for coffee before work. I also went back to the apartment and started dinner for us tonight." 

"You did what?" she asked with a smile.

"Its cooking in the crock pot in the kitchen." 

"You are amazing," She said leaning into him. Before their lips touched, she backed away and walked toward the door. "We gotta get to work, Detective Stabler. Now lets hustle." She winked at him and walked through the door.

He laughed in the air and said to the air, "God I love that woman." With that he walked back into the precinct and prepared for their newest case. 


	7. What is in the Box?

**Sorry since it been a couple days since my last update. i have been very busy, but I wanted this chapter to be awesome for you guys! Continue to keep telling me what you guys think and where you guys want to see this going. It means so much as a writer and also help keep the story going knowing that people want to see it go farther. So thanks to all who read and reviewed last chapter: KaydenceRei, sayit, MeloniFreak, BUTTERFLIES-AND-HONEY, FutureMrsStabler, Neela149, LivElLittle, BrittanyLS, tamasit1, LivElRocks a lot, LivvyChica, Rexy07. Keep it up! I hope you guys like this next update.**

Chapter 7- What is in the box?

When Elliot told Olivia about the dinner he made for her at the apartment, she decided to call Casey and buy some appropriate attire for the evening... consisting of a dress and then lingerie. They were in one of many lingerie stores in New York City when Olivia found the perfect dress for her. She knew Elliot would melt. 

Casey smiled at her best friend's bright smile that was filled with love and passion. She laughed and looked at the panties, bras and thongs she had picked for herself and looked back at Olivia. "So this guy must really be the real thing, Olivia." 

Olivia smiled and picked a couple more sexy pieces for future nights with Detective Stabler. "Yeah, Casey. He's perfect." 

Completely oblivious to the man Olivia was head over heels for, she smirked saying, "So this guy really helped you get over him, hasn't he?" 

"Who?" Olivia asked taking a drink of her water while staring at an appealing corset. She knew she would love to see Elliot rip that off her body.

"Elliot." Olivia spewed her water and coughed into her napkin. Casey rushed to her side and looked at her worriedly. "Liv, you okay? What was that?" 

"Casey, you haven't figured it out?" She asked regaining her composure.

"What?" 

Olivia smiled and stared at Casey with laughing eyes. "This man _**is**_ Elliot, Case." 

"What!" she harped in the store. This time the store owner gave them a glare of seriousness and disappointment.

"Yeah, we've been together for about a month and a half now, but you cannot say anything, Case. No one knows!" 

Completely speechless, Casey stood out her pinky finger and choked on her words. "I swear." 

"Thanks," Olivia said with a smile. She paid for her clothing and looked back at a still stunned Casey. "Let's go get a quick lunch. El is making me dinner tonight." 

"Liv, wait up!" Casey said running after her with her back in tow.

While Olivia was gone, Elliot decided to finish his paper work so he could try to leave early. When he finished his pile, he made his way up to the roof. There he always seemed to sort out his emotions and thoughts. When he first met Olivia, he was here. When he found out he and Kathy were going to be separated, he went here. When he first learned he had Leukemia, he came here. When he first realized he loved his partner, Olivia Benson, he was here. After all the important events that happened in the past twelve years, Elliot found himself on this roof top, reflecting on his choices and his life.

He took out his wallet and found the pictures of his four beautiful children. They were all so different with wonderful mind-blowing personalities. Each one held a key to his heart. It broke him knowing he was going to leave them. Any of them. He was never going to have the opportunity to walk his daughters down the aisle or look at his grandchildren the day they were born. That thought alone made him weep. 

He continued to looked at the pictures and remembered his conversation with Maureen earlier that day. She had turned out to be so much like him. It scared him. He was defensive and bottled everything inside until it exploded. He didn't want that for her. She still had her mother's ability to create facades, but he saw beneath and saw her soul in their matching blue eyes. He would pray that she would break. He would pray that the right man would step into his life and release her from her repressed hurt and anger. He knew that he had found that someone in his life and was thankful to God every day that she was there.

He turned to the last photo in his wallet and found the picture of Olivia. He highly doubted that Olivia knew her picture was in there, but he always kept it in there. She was always his balance. His counter part. His perfect match. He was ashamed that she hadn't known that until recently but was blessed that he could be with her now. Even if it was only a matter of months.

_... Only up to nine months..._ That wasn't enough time, he thought to himself angrily. He needed to be there for her. He wanted to see if they would create life together and he wanted to watch it grow and be born. He wanted to see Olivia's face when she saw their child go to school or even when he or she got married. He wanted to see Olivia in rocking chairs at an old beach house outside the city and enjoy seeing their grandchildren running around their yard with their dogs. He knew that would never happen for them and it crushed him. 

He had started writing a long time ago. One case he work at in the early years of his career showed him the importance to document every moment or every thing you want to say. He found it easier to write his emotions down instead of saying them. He stayed up at the roof and wrote until he noticed two hours had passed. 

He went down to the squad room and saw Cragen meeting him at the bottom of the stairs. "Stabler, you have the rest of the evening off. I know Im going to need you in the morning." 

Elliot smiled at his boss's form of discretion and shook his hand. "Thank you, sir." 

As he was about to leave the precinct, Munch and Fin stopped him. Munch smiled and shook his hand. "Thank you Stabler for making me a richer man." 

"What are you talking about, now guys?" 

"We saw you with your tongue down Benson's throat this morning in your car. Because of that little incident, it won me four hundred bucks." Elliot froze and looked back at his coworkers who were smirking at him. "Don't worry about it. Your secret is safe with us. We are glad it happened." 

Relief was washed over Elliot and he smiled at them a true Stabler grin. "Thanks guys." 

"Just treat her good, Elliot. She's been hurt before. We don't want to see her hurt again." John said smiling.

"Take good care of her of her, man," Fin said as the elevator doors separated them. 

Elliot took a deep breath and leaned his head against the elevator walls. "Sorry to disappoint you both," he said sadly as the elevator reached the bottom floor.

Elliot opened the door to the apartment and smiled when he saw a trail of red rose petals and a beautiful Olivia in his entry way to their bedroom, dressed in a tight black dress. She talked in a frantic tone which seemed almost nervous and innocent. "Okay, I haven't even stepped into the kitchen, because I know you want to do something romantic and sweet and stuff, so I have just been decorating and setting up for tonight." 

He smiled at her behavior and walked up to her and took her in his arms. He kissed her passionately and it knocked the wind out of both of them. "Wow," was all she could say as she stared into his perfect blue orbs. She smiled and attacked his face again. She trailed kissed from his lips to his jaw and playfully bit his neck. He moaned at her movements and stopped her. 

"Liv, let me check the dinner and then we can get back to this, okay?" 

"Sure," she said taking a deep breath. He smiled at her now playful nature and kissed her lightly on the lips as he made his way to the kitchen. 

When he returned, he was met with two glasses of wine and a kiss. He deepened it and set the glasses on the coffee table. "It seems," he said between a kiss, "that dinner isn't close to being done." 

"So," Olivia said kissing his neck, "what do you suppose we do, Detective?" 

"I believe dessert before dinner is always a good idea," he said seductively in her ear. 

She smiled brightly at him and kissed him hard. She pulled him into the bedroom and set him on the edge of their bed. "Wait here," she said kissing him quickly. "I need to get dressed." 

He laughed at her statement and watched her lock herself in the bathroom. He looked around the room and saw the lit candles and rose petals. He knew she deserved the best. He undressed and slid into a pair of black silk boxers and a matching silk robe. He let it hang so his body was shown through. He ran into the living room and snatched the box Maureen had given him that morning. He strutted back into the room and left it in the night stand drawer. 

He made his way back at the edge of the bed with their wine glasses when Olivia entered from the bathroom. She took his breath away. She was in a short blue silk dress that had a corset lining. Her legs were slick with recently applied lotion and her lips were glossed with a darker tone. She was his beauty forever.

When she saw him, she almost lost control at one sight. His attire complimented every feature that she loved about him. Even the black. Though blue would always and forever be her favorite color on him, the black silk made her growl. They stared at each other in complete silence for moment until Elliot spoke up. "Hi." 

"Hi." 

He placed the wine glasses on the stand he then stood in front of her. He leaned down and kissed her lips with a silent hunger and need. She moaned into his mouth as his tongue darted into her and plunged into her depths. Her arms made it around his neck and they rested on his strong shoulders. Their kiss separated due to their need for oxygen and he picked her up in his arms and gently laid her onto the bed. 

Her hands roamed his body and she moaned from the strength that she discovered. She slowly removed his robe and kissed every inch of skin that she uncovered. She moaned from sheer ecstasy when their lips met again and their tongues dueled. 

He came and flipped her over so she was on top of him. He quickly untied the strings that tied her corset gown and he slipped it off her body. He then flipped her underneath him and he studied her naked glory. Their eyes met and they communicated through rough and passionate breaths and gazes filled with desire. "You're beautiful," he said as he pushed himself on top of her and kissed her senseless. 

She screamed his name from sheer excitement and anticipation. "I need you inside me," she said as she kissed his lips. "I've needed you forever." 

He smiled at her and let her remove his boxers. She gazed at his shaft and licked her lips with approval. Her lick was intercepted by his own tongue as their tongues dueled once more. "Now, Elliot. Now," she whispered deeply into his ear. 

With those words, he plunged into her and they both grunted from the feelings of completion and love they felt in one movement. As they stayed together in that moment, they began their dance. Each moving in time with one another. "Don't stop. Don't ever stop," she continued to whisper as her hands and mouth explored his body. She felt herself losing control and kissed Elliot deeply. 

Elliot felt her anxiousness and pulled her up to him in a sitting position. He looked into her eyes and said, "I love you," as he thrust into her one last time. This through both of them over the edge as they screamed in passion and release. Her fingernails clawed the skin of his back and biting his shoulder as he roughly kissed and nipped at her collar bone and neck. They rolled together on the bed until they couldn't find the energy to do so anymore. 

When they both came down from their high, he looked down at her before he pulled out of her. "I love you," she said kissing him softly on the mouth. He smiled and pulled out of her and gather her into his arms. She turned so their legs were tangled together and her head was upon his chest. 

He looked down at her and thought this was the perfect moment at the perfect time. "Marry me, Olivia." 

She looked up at him with shocked eyes only to find sincerity and love in the others. She traced his face and chest with her sweat and saliva covered fingers and felt her way down his body. She smiled at him and put her head back down on his chest.

"Im serious, Liv." He turned and got the box from his drawer and pulled out the ring. It was platinum and had had three diamonds, the largest in the middle. The inside had the word _Forever_ engraved on the inside. Olivia was speechless and looked back at her lover with tear filled eyes. "Olivia, I am asking you now and for forever, will you be my bride?" 

She smiled and kissed him passionately. "Yes," she said kissing him again. "Now and forever, my love. Now and forever." 


	8. Forging Some Memories

**Sorry it has taken me so long to update, guys! I have been busy getting ready for my vacation starting saturday. im hoping that I will be able to update at some point during my vacation and before early August. Well, i want you to know that I have appreciated all who have read, reviewed and have contacted me about my story. It has helped develop this story and make it what it is. So thanks to all who reviewed last chapter: KaydenceRei, sayit, sandrafan28, LivElLittle, BrittanyLS, Rexy07, lionessLeo, Svu Cutie, MeloniFreak, lovestoact, MissFantabulous, ItaliaRocks, tamasit1. I hope you guys enjoy this update. Leaving you with a happy chapter. So, continue to read and review and enjoy! **

rach 

Chapter Eight- Forging Some Memories 

Their wedding was two months after the proposal. Their ceremony was held on the rooftop of the 1-6 precinct. Olivia, Maureen and Casey helped her purchase her wedding dress and the bridesmaids gowns. Olivia asked Maureen to be her maid of honor, because of how close they had gotten those past couple months. Her bridesmaids were Maureen, Casey, Lizzie, Kathleen and Melinda. She was the happiest she had ever been. 

Elliot's groomsmen were Munch and Fin with Dickie being the best man. Olivia had asked Cragen to walk her down the aisle. He knew that Olivia needed that day to live on without him. So, he let her and his daughters plan the ceremony and the reception. He decided that he and their family should have their Disneyland trip during that time. He planned it so he and Olivia could leave three days before the rest of the family and then the kids would meet them and spend a week. It would be perfect. 

They had decided to wait and have the wedding reception when they returned from California. Olivia and Elliot's flight was in the midday so they could spend some daylight time when they arrived in California. Casey and Maureen had already had their reception planned for their return. It would be a dinner with their family and friends.

Maureen separated Elliot and Olivia the night before the wedding and the women stayed at her apartment. The following morning, she met Casey, Kathleen and Lizzie at the precinct to get ready. Olivia was so nervous. They had decided to write their own vows. She was staring out of the interrogation room window when she heard a knock at the door. "Come in," she said finishing up her makeup.

Cragen walked in the room and smiled at the woman before him. He had always viewed her as his daughter, but now it was complete. He smiled and gave her a hug. "You are so beautiful, Olivia." 

"Thanks, Don," Olivia said with a smile. She had tears in her eyes.

"Hey, save the tears when you see your groom. He's pacing up a storm." 

She laughed and fixed her makeup. "That's Elliot for you." 

He smiled and took her hand. "It's time to go. You ready." 

She smiled and took her bouquet. "I have been ready since the moment I saw him, Don. Forever." 

Elliot stood at the other end of the carpet He looked out at the end of the carpet when the music began to play. They didn't want traditional, so the song that played was _You and Me_ by Lifehouse. He saw his daughters and Casey and Melinda walk down the aisle and as the chorus started, the woman of his dreams walked down the aisle. Olivia wore a white dress that formed her entire body. She refused to wear a veil and had a tiara instead. She was perfection in his eyes. 

_ You and Me  
And all other people  
With nothing to do  
Nothing to lose..._

Olivia looked at the end of the aisle and saw perfection at the end of the aisle. She didn't see anyone else on that rooftop. She only saw Elliot. He was standing at the end waiting for her in his black tuxedo and amazing smile. She didn't realize that they were together until Don removed his arm from their link. She couldn't turn her eyes away from him, but he saw her mouth the words thank you to him. She took Elliot's hands and smiled brightly at him. "I love you," she whispered as her tears escaped her eyes.

"I know, I love you too," he whispered back. He thought she was amazing and couldn't wait to tell her in front of everyone they loved. 

_ ...And there's you and me  
And all other people  
And I don't know why  
I can't keep my eyes off of you..._

The ceremony continued on and they were the happiest they had ever been. When it came time to say the vows, Elliot smiled and squeezed Olivia's hands tightly before he spoke. "Olivia, you have always been my Olivia. I have loved you forever it seems. Our relationship was grown from partnership, to friendship, to my best friend, to the love of my life and now my bride. You are what keeps me going every day. You and your smile and your heart. I thank God every day for you letting me into your heart and soul." 

He took a breath and looked into her tear filled eyes. Today they weren't filled with sadness, but filled with love and happiness. He looked down and back up into her eyes again, "Now I don't know what will happen tomorrow. But I can promise you that I will love you forever. That I will stand by you forever. That I will live in your heart forever. I was meant to love you Olivia. Forever." He lifted her hands and kissed them. She cried silently and whispered "I love you" to him.

"Whenever you are ready," the priest said to Olivia. 

She gathered up her strength and found comfort and love in his eyes once again. She smiled and began her vows. "I have always loved you, Elliot Stabler. The moment I saw you, I felt a new sense of completeness and wholeness. You have stood by me in the dark times and celebrated with me in the happy moments. I have had the privilege of loving your children as if they were my own and have worked at a squad that has become our family. You have given that to me." 

She looked down and then made her way back to his eyes, "But you have done so much more than that, El. You helped me believe in love. You helped me believe that everything happened for a reason. You taught me how to trust with my heart and not my mind and I am falling for you harder every day. When you told me you loved me, my heart burst and you knock down all of my defenses. Only you, Elliot Stabler, have been with me through it all and could have done that. Forever I will love you, Elliot Stabler. Never will there be anyone in my life as wonderful as you. And I know now that I could never find a love as true as yours. I am promising you now that my heart will forever be yours, my love. Forever, Elliot. Forever." 

There wasn't a dry eye on that roof top by the end of their vows. He looked into her eyes and whispered to Olivia, "I love you." She nodded and then they looked back at the priest. Elliot turned to Dickie and took her ring into his hands. 

The priest spoke up and said. "Repeat after me, I, Elliot..." 

"I, Elliot..." 

"Take you Olivia..." 

"Take you Olivia..." 

"To be my wedded wife..." 

"To be my wedded wife..." 

"To have and to hold..." 

"To have and to hold..." 

"From this day forward..." 

"From this day forward..." 

"For better, for worse..." 

"For better, for worse..." 

"For richer, for poorer..." 

"For richer, for poorer..." 

"In sickness or in health..." 

He took a deep breath and looked deep into Olivia's eyes. He saw her tears begin to form and he squeezed her hand reassuringly after saying the following words... "In sickness or in health..." 

"To love and to cherish..." 

"To love and to cherish..." 

"Till death do us part." 

"Till death to us part." 

"And hereto I pledge my love and devotion to you." 

"And hereto I pledge my love and devotion to you, forever." As the ring was placed onto her fingers, she cried from pure happiness. It was her turns and took the wedding band from Maureen to put it on Elliot's hand. The priest began, "Now Olivia, repeat after me. I, Olivia..." 

"I, Olivia..." 

"Take you, Elliot..." 

"Take you, Elliot..." 

"To be my wedded husband..." 

"To be my wedded husband..." 

"To have and to hold..." 

"To have and to hold..." 

"From this day forward..." 

"From this day forward..." 

"For better, for worse..." 

"For better, for worse..." 

"For richer, for poorer..." 

"For richer, for poorer..." 

"In sickness or in health..." 

She squeezed his hand in pure commitment and love and cried saying the following words, "In sickness or in health..." 

"To love and to cherish..." 

"To love and to cherish..." 

"Till death do us part." 

A tear escaped her eyes, but she spoke gracefully and lovingly, "Till death to us part." 

"And hereto I pledge my love and devotion to you." 

"And hereto I pledge my love and devotion to you, forever." She cried and squeezed his hands tightly. 

The priest finished the ceremony by saying, "Now, by the power vested in me before God, I pronounce you man and wife." He looked to Elliot whose smile was contagious. "You may kiss your bride." 

Elliot smiled and lifted her into his arms. She placed his hands on his face and he kissed her soundly on the mouth. He tightened his hold and kissed her like she had never been kissed before. Their lips tasted of love and tears and pure joy. The claps and joy they heard after their kiss let him know he should put her down. The priest smiled at the couple and spoke, "I now present Mr. and Mrs. Elliot Stabler." 

He took her hand and led her to the truck which had _Just Married_ written on the back and they drove to the airport. When they reached a stoplight, he smiled and kissed her deeply on the mouth. "Are you sure you wanted to get dressed into more comfortable clothes at JFK airport?" 

"Yeah," she said with a smile. "I love you so much. Im so glad you are mine." 

"And you are mine," he said kissing her deeply. "I will forever be yours, Olivia Stabler." He kissed her, "I've always been yours." 


	9. The First GoodByes

** Hey im back! Sorry it has taken me so long! I went away on vacation. It was fantastic. While I was gone, though, I got so many ideas about this story. So be ready to see some chapters very VERY soon! Im hoping to complete this before school starts, though. As always, I would love to thank all who have stood by this story and reviewed and emailed with me. It means so SO much! The support helps this story continue! Thank you to KaydenceRei, obsessedwithstabler, sayit, FutureMrsStabler, MeloniFreak, SVUCHICA48, Svu Cutie, Neela149, BrittanyLS, Laosvufreak, GiggleGloWorm9987. Thank you so much for your thoughts and reviews and keep them coming! Remember your kleenex!**

Chapter 9- The First Good Byes

The Stabler Family returned from their honeymoon/ vacation stronger than ever. After many Disney characters and songs later, the kids almost seemed to forget that their father was dying... Olivia forgetting her husband wasn't going to be with her much longer. They lived for every moment in Anaheim, CA as if there wasn't a tomorrow. And they couldn't have been any happier.

They soon returned to New York City where the family split up and Olivia and Elliot made their way to their apartment. They made love and held each other every night. Olivia feared letting go of him in those intimate moments, but he continued to reassure her that he would be back. His reassurance in the form of soft long kisses and holds. 

The morning of their long awaited wedding reception, Elliot and Olivia layed together in their bed after making love. Olivia snuggled herself into his warm bare chest as Elliot stroked her hair and visible skin. 

Olivia noticed his mind didn't seem to be in the moment, so she began to trail kisses along his collar bone and jaw. "El, what are you thinking about?" she asked softly.

He held her tighter and brushed his face into her hair. "We need to tell them today, Liv. Its my last week on the job." 

A shiver of fear passed through her spine and she only squeezed tighter. He noticed this and he pressed her body closer to him. "It isn't that time yet. Is it El?"

He nodded silently and he kissed her brow. "Are you okay, Liv?" 

She held in her tears and nodded into his chest. 

"Baby," he said kissing her face. "You don't need to be strong for me. Let me take care of you too." 

She closed her eyes and sobbed into his chest. He tried to soothe her, but knew she needed this cry. She needed to release her pain, fear and sadness.

She held onto him for dear life, it seemed. As her tears began to subside, she kissed up his torso and made her way to his mouth. "Im sorry," she mouthed before she found his lips planted on hers.

"Don't be," he said kissing her deeper. "I don't want to leave you either." He held her close as his kissed his way down her neck. "I love you, Olivia Stabler." 

"I love you too, El." She said letting her dreams take over. "Forever." 

99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

Their reception was going to be small. Not a large family gathering. Not a traditional champagne and dance. Simply friends and dinner. It would be with the people that really mattered. Their family and the people they loved.

Elliot was staring at himself in the mirror as he looked at his disintegrating self. He had treatments the day before. His was growing more pale after every treatment. It killed him knowing that he was going to leave Olivia. He gripped the dresser as he stared at his appearance in the mirror. His shirt was open and his eyes seemed older and more tired. He studied his body and smiled when he saw his wedding ring on his hand. Her name engraved on the inside along with the word_'Forever._ She had been the love of his life since he started working at the 1-6 precinct. She would live within him even after his passing.

Olivia stood in the doorway and watched her husband's silent analysis. It broke her heart to see him so broken. Dinner was ready for their friends and family when they arrived. She had loved the man she stared at for what seemed like forever. He was the only man who she had let into her world. And he was going to be leaving her sooner than either of them wanted. 

She saw him look at his wedding ring as she fiddled with her own on her hand. She took a deep breath and moved behind him and wrapped her arms around him. He relaxed under her touch and she kissed his shoulders through his shirt. She knew his thoughts and they broke her heart. "It will be okay, baby. They will understand"

He nodded as he grabbed onto her hand. "It's just admitting it thats hard, you know?" 

She nodded and moved her way around him so she stood in between his legs. When he didn't meet her eyes, she took her hand and moved his face so he looked into her determined brown eyes. "Hey," she said softly but in a firm fashion. "You don't need to tell them now. We can wait"

He smiled at her attempt to ease his pain and kissed her softly. "Yes, I do, Liv," he said against her lips. "I need to do this"

"I will there for you, baby," she said kissing him soundly against the mouth. "I will be your strength. Lean on me if you need me today"

"I will always need you, Olivia," he said with a sad smile. "I always have"

She looked up at him and caught his lips in hers. As her hands made her way to remove his shirt, the doorbell rang. She looked up at him and still saw desire and love written in his eyes. "We better get moving. They are here." 

She stepped away and he turned her around before he buttoned up his shirt. He kissed her sweetly and smiled at her. "I love you, Liv"

"Forever, baby." She said winking at him. She turned away and went to open the front door.

99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

Everyone was gathered around the living room enjoying the company and food. They shared stories and Olivia and Elliot shared their adventures of their honeymoon vacation with very limited details. Olivia smiled at her husband as he talked to his coworkers and children. 

It was getting later into the evening and Elliot knew he needed to admit the truth. He suddenly gripped Olivia's thigh and her head shot up. She looked into his blue eyes that were suddenly filled with fear and pain. She moved to his ear and whispered to him, "It will be okay, baby." She gave him a quick kiss on the lips and lovingly touched his cheek. "I love you and am right beside you"

He nodded and stood up. "Hey all, I have something to say"

"What, Olivia's pregnant?" Munch said taking another drink of his beer. Fin laughed and slapped his partner's back.

"No, I actually have some news for you"

Cragen met with Olivia's eyes and saw the tears began to gather. She met his gaze and lowered her head in her hands. Elliot began to speak and she rested her hand on his lower back.

"As many of you know, married couples are frowned upon by the Brass." They all nodded and he continued. "Truly we weren't worried about it because I am resigning from the police force." They all wore faces of shock. Before any could comment to Elliot's announcement, Elliot continued. "I am not leaving because I don't love the job anymore. It has nothing to do with that." He felt himself growing afraid, but knew he needed to admit the truth. He took a deep drink of his beer and looked up at the group. "I am leaving because I am dying. I went to my yearly check up since I had my HIV scare and I received very bad news. I have a rare, lethal form of leukemia and I need to receive treatments every week, sometimes twice a week. That is why Olivia has been so wonderful and flexible about our cases." He squeezed her hand to feel her strength. She reciprocated and he continued. "I don't have much longer. Probably a couple months. I am leaving now so I can be with my family and friends while I still can. I know you all needed to know. You are my family. And I will miss you all." A silent tear escaped his eyes and Olivia took him in her arms. 

No one wasn't crying in the Stabler's apartment. Even Munch was crying. Casey moved to him and he held her close, both crying for their friend. His children moved to their father and his new wife and held her close. Fin was watching everyone's reactions, while dealing with his own. He saw Cragen's face, which was not filled with shock like everyone else. He moved to him and whispered forcefully, "You knew?"

He nodded and replied, "He asked me not to say anything. I didn't even know that Olivia knew until the night before they got married"

Fin shook his hand and pulled him into a brotherly hug. "We are going to miss him." He nodded and made his way to Elliot's daughters and son. 

John and Casey stood up and made his way to Elliot and Olivia. Casey moved and hugged Elliot tightly. "Im sorry, Elliot. Im so sorry"

He nodded and quickly released her. "It will be okay, Casey."

He soon looked at his coworkers, John Munch and Odafin Tutuola. Both men were strong with dark haunting pasts. He always respected them and viewed them like brothers. There were no words that needed to be said. Only a silent connection. They nodded and that was that.

99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

Shortly after, everyone was gone and it left Elliot and Olivia alone in their apartment. Elliot was cleaning the dishes and they both stayed silent. He felt Olivia's arms behind him and he smiled. She kissed him softly and whispered in his ear, "I have something for you"

She took his hand and led him to the bedroom. There sat a box with a small bow. "Open it," she said kissing him softly. He moved over and opened it and saw a photo. It was her and him with their first kiss. It was sweet and romantic. He looked back at her and she had tears in her eyes. "Whenever you look at this, I want to you to see me. Feel me. Feel us." Tears escaped both their eyes and she held him close. "I am so proud of you. I am so in love with you. Nothing, not even death, will ever make me stop." 

He looked into her eyes and cried with her silently. "I love you, Olivia"

She knew what he needed and brought him to the bed. Their love making was slow and gente. There was no rush. They were in love and hurting. They didn't need words. Their eyes said it all. As they made love, she felt the magic that she knew no one would ever bring to her but him. In the middle of the night, she held him close and kissed every inch of him that wasn't cover by their blankets and sheets. She stared at his strong face and smiled at him before she fell asleep in his arms. "I will love you forever," she whispered in the dark of night.

**Well that is chapter 9. Thank you to all who read and I will post chapter 10 soon... please review! Thank you again! **


	10. It is Time

Hey there! Okay, **MAJOR WARNING! NEED KLEENEX HERE!** I just wanted to thank all who have stayed with this story and have read and reviewed and contacted me. Especially Kay! Seriously, I hit like a major block, but all the communication and stuff helped me write this story. Just so you know, it has about THREE chapters left! Please stay with it. I want to finish it by next week, so updates will be quick. As always, I would love to thank my reviewers! As I have said before... YOU ROCK! Thanks to: **GirlSummer OhSix Roxx, Neela149, sayit, MeloniFreak, lionessLeo, Jhynefeeer, tamasit1, BrittanyLS, SVUgurl4life, Svu Cutie, obsessedwithstabler, KaydenceRei, TruLuv**. So thank you all of you and continue to R&R. 

**Chapter 10: It was Time**

Olivia hadn't gotten used to not being partnered with Elliot. It had been three months since he resigned and she got rid of every new partner within one case. She preferred to work alone. She was grateful that she got to go home to Elliot every night.

She was driving home when she thought of the case they just cracked. She needed Elliot by her today. Not some rookie cop or Mike Sandoval. She needed Elliot.

_  
It was 1 o'clock in the afternoon when Olivia was assigned the case on Broadway and 52nd Street. She got off her car and met up with her temporary partner, Mike Sandoval._

"What have we got, Sandoval?" 

"Dead woman beaten. Name is Sandra Hewitt. Her daughter Candy Hewitt was found behind the dumpster." 

"Dead?" 

He nodded his head silently.

She moved over to John and looked at him, "Can you go interview? Im going to the Medical Examiners to find out how this woman died. All I know is that it wasn't simple." 

He nodded and let her go. She was like his little sister. She was going farther into a dark world every day she wasn't working with Elliot. He thought of how long she was going to be able to stay on the job after he passed away. He then looked at Mike Sandoval, her temporary partner at the moment, and motioned him to work with Fin. 

It was four o'clock in the afternoon when Olivia made her way to the Medical Examiners office. Melinda met her quickly. "You were right. Sandra's death was far more complicated. Apparently, she was poisoned with arsenic. She was dying already. Her stab wound was post mortem. Whoever did this to her had a grudge and since she was already dead, they took it out on the dead body." 

"What about the daughter?" 

"Now that this the interesting part. I was first thinking the mother did it while she was insane, but look..." She pointed to her stomach and wrists. "All of these wounds were self inflicted." 

"She did this to herself?" 

Melinda nodded.

"Out of guilt for killing her mother, she killed herself. How old was she?" 

"Only eight years old." 

Olivia swallowed and covered both bodies. She felt like she was going to throw up on anything at that moment. Melinda turned her and Olivia vomited her breakfast and dinner the night before in the waste tub. 

After she threw up, she looked at the examiner who gave her a sad smile. She leaned in and whispered to her, "Olivia, the results were positive." 

Olivia nodded and wiped off her faces. She quickly rinsed her mouth out with Listerine Melinda gave her and she nodded. "Im going to the station. Can you call if anything else turns up?" 

"Yes, of course. And Olivia." 

Olivia turned around and looked at the medical examiner with broken eyes. Instead of saying anything, Melinda only nodded and let her go on her way.

Olivia walked into the station to be met by Captain Cragen, John and Fin at seven-thirty. "Go home," Cragen said looking at her seriously.

"No, I need to finish this file. The case is solved. We just have to fill out the paper work." 

"Yes us," John said motioning to him and Fin. "Not you." 

"What's going on here?" She said eying all three men carefully.

"Olivia, you are exhausted. Just go home and be with Elliot. Take a couple days off." 

She frowned and then looked up at her Captain. "Okay, let me get my stuff." 

It was nine o'clock when she pulled up in front of her apartment. She got off the car and made her way to the door. She smiled when she opened the door and saw Elliot laid out on the couch. She got scared however, because he didn't make the small noises he made when he slept. She ran to him and kneeled in front of him. His eyes shot open only to meet hers in tears. "Liv, what's going on?" 

"Don't scare me like that!" She said hitting him in the chest. He looked at her confused and she cried into his chest. "I thought you left me." 

"Shhh..." he said into her hair. "Its okay. Shhh..." 

She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. "What did you do today?" 

"I actually slept. Caught a little of that funny TV show Reba on Lifetime, Television for Women..." She laughed and held him closer. He always knew just what to say to make her smile. "John, Don and Fin called me today." She suddenly stiffened at looked into his eyes. "They told me something threw you off. Care to tell me what that is?" 

She cried and held him close. "Today was so hard today, Elliot. I needed you with me. I missed you. You always got me through the tough ones." 

"Shhh..." he said into her hair. "Its okay." 

"Make me forget," she whispered turning to him. "Make me forget it all." 

He knew what she meant as he leaned down and captured her lips with his own. He held her close and kissed away her hurt and pain. He stopped and took her hand. He led her to the bedroom and placed her on the bed. 

He pushed her down softly on the bed, caressing her with kisses while disrobing her. Soon they were both naked under the sheets with her beneath him. "Elliot," she moaned, needed him inside her. He shook his head and kissed his way down her torso to her slick folds. His tongue thrust inside her as she moaned in ecstasy. She bucked against him as her head was twisting on the pillow. "El, El, God, El. Never stop. I love you, Elliot!" She came quickly in his mouth and she pressed against his head in pleasure. He smiled and kissed her with sticky kisses until he met her lips. "I love you," he whispered kissing her body. "I love all of you. I love you, Olivia. Forever my love." 

She cried happy tears as she kissed his body. She nodded and looked back to him, "Forever, baby." She sank herself onto his shaft as she gasped in pleasure. He wanted to take it slow and easy. He wanted her to remember everything. To feel. To memorize. They came together as she screamed in pleasure and he grunted his release. 

They laid together in the sea of sheets and simply stared at each other. Memorizing every little detail. Elliot's skin grew more pale, but Olivia kissed his muscles. "I don't know if you know this," she said fingering his chest hair, "But I loved you the moment I landed on top of you eight years ago." 

He laughed and kissed her again. "I loved you before then." 

"Really?" She said playfully kissing his neck.

"Yep, your file was in Cragen's office. I saw your picture and fell in love with you that second." 

She laughed and snuggled into him. "You are so full of shit." 

"But you love me anyway," he said kissing her deeply. "But in all seriousness, Olivia. I do love you. You are the best thing that has happened to me. You are my love, forever." 

"I know. I'll love you forever." 

She kissed him deeply and fell asleep in his embraces at eleven-thirty that night. 

Elliot looked at his angel in his arms as she slept. He felt her warm silky skin that meshed perfectly with his. He looked at her and tears gathered in his eyes as he whispered sadly, "Im sorry I won't be there to rock with you in our rocking chairs when we grow old. Im sorry we never had the chance to name our children together. Im sorry you didn't sit beside me at our kid's weddings. Im sorry you are going to live without me so soon, my Olivia." 

A tear escaped his eyes and he smiled. "But you will never really be alone. I am here. I will live with you and in your heart forever. Just don't forget me, baby. I will love you forever. Even after death." 

He kissed her lips softly as she slept. She only snuggled closer to him. "My Olivia," he said kissing the crown of her head. "Goodnight my love. I love you." 

Elliot passed away in her arms at twelve-twelve.

Olivia woke up to the alarm clock at seven o'clock that morning. "El, will you turn that off please, its on your side." 

Nothing.

She opened her eyes and she was in his grasp, but his arms were limp. His skin was pale. His wasn't breathing. His heart wasn't beating. He was gone.

"No," she moaned as she held his naked body against hers, "No, baby no!"

She took a labored breath and held him tighter, "I love you, El. Come back to me. Come back. I love you." 

She sobbed as she held him. The tears didn't subside, but she didn't make a sound. She laid him next to her and she kissed his lips once more. "I'll love you until the day I die, my Elliot. Forever." 


	11. Life Without You

Okay, I want to say a lot of thank yous! This story topped 100 reviews! Lets just say, I did the happy dance! LOL. Well, as always I want to thank all of you who read this. It makes me smile. So to all of you:** Kaydence Rei, Laosvufreak, MeloniFreak, ItaliaRocks, GirlSummer OhSix Roxx, SVUandEOareLOVE, DaniIsNotHere, MissFantabulous, Neela149, sayit, TruLuv, SVUgurl4life, Jhynefeeer, LivElLittle, LivvyChica, LivNel4ever, GiggleGloWorm9987, tamasit1, Svu Cutie, obsessedwithstabler, divamodest4life.** Thank you for reading and please continue to read and review.

Life Without You 

Olivia looked at the dashboard clock. 12:43. She took a breath and picked up the red rose beside her. She got out of her car and moved through the grass. She passed a man she saw everyday and smiled at him. He waved and moved to her. "Mrs. Stabler, how are you today?" 

"Fine, Mr. Spencer. How are you?" 

"Its been 15 years today," he said smiling sadly at her

"She's knows you've been here Shawn." 

"Thank you Olivia. Have a great day." 

"Thanks." 

She moved through the cemetery until she reached one tall headstone under a the largest oak tree. It read:

Elliot Stabler 

April 1961- October 2006 

Wonderful Father. Wonderful Cop.

The Love of My Life.

He will be missed.

Olivia sniffled as she placed the red rose by his grave. "Hey baby. Im here." She kneeled in front of the grave "We just solved the Miller case that I have been telling you about. Fin collared him and I interrogated. John was working a transfer case in Baltimore at the time, so that is why we worked it. Casey will lock him away. I just know it." 

Olivia looked at the sky and saw blue with thin whispering clouds. "Elliot, the sky is blue today. But you probably know that already. I remember you telling me one night in bed that you wanted to take me on a walk in the spring where the sky was blue and the flowers came out. You said you wanted to take me on a horse carriage for Valentine's Day. It was really beautiful, Elliot. Really beautiful." 

"I had dinner at Kathy's the other night. Joanna is so beautiful. Bright blonde hair and green eyes. She is the most vibrant baby at 4 months old that I have ever seen. You would have had a laugh watching Dickie tickle her. She has Kathy's smile." 

Tears came up in her eyes as she took a breath. She then looked at the gravestone and smiled sadly. "I thought about getting a dog for the apartment, baby. It is just so quiet and lonely now that you are gone. I put long King Size pillows on your side of the bed at night in hopes of maybe feeling you again. But nothing comes close to the way our bodies molded together after we'd make love. Every time with you was like the first time. I remember how your eyes would turn from light to dark almost instantly. I remember our hearts beating in time as you held me to your side. I can remember your taste. I can still feel you close to me. In me. Completing me..." 

Her tears were falling as the clouds began to gather. She knew it was going to snow, but she wasn't going to move. She needed to be there. She needed him.

"On the way here, our song came on the radio. You know, _Mystery_ by Live. It was the whole song, baby. I remember the way you held me at Disneyland when we walked through Fantasy Land. Only you would fall into my romantic behavior in that theme park. I remember when we were walking and you began to sing me the lyrics to that song in front of the castle. And I remember you and I both crying when that one couple said they wanted to be like us when they got married. It was wonderful just being with you. You baby. You..." 

She sat there and cried. She didn't mean to cry for so long, but she sobbed. "Im sorry, Elliot. Im sorry that you and I never got to run away together for an abrupt vacation. Im sorry that you never got to see your kids get married. Im sorry we never got the opportunity to wake up fifty years after we got married and find ourselves still hopelessly in love..." 

She cried and touched his grave and said, "Im sorry I never got to tell you that I was pregnant with your son." It was then that she rubbed her cold hands on her pregnant stomach. "Im five months along all ready, baby. The doctor told me that this little boy is so strong. I heard its heart beat. It's all Stabler." She smiled at the thought and rubbed her hands over the stomach. "I don't know what I am going to tell him, El. What can I say? Besides the fact that I am completely in love with you but you are away in heaven watching over us? It isn't fair that God took you away from me. I love you so much. You are such a big part of me. You completed me. Im still hopelessly in love with you." 

She put her head in her hands and cried. She then felt a comforting hand on her shoulder. She reached to grab hold of it, but there was nothing but air.

Nothing.

Olivia looked around her looking for any sign of life. Anything that would have grabbed her shoulder, but there was no one. She put her head in her hands and cried. Cried for her lover. Cried for her baby. Cried for her broken heart.

She then felt her baby move in her stomach. "Hi baby," she whispered to her stomach. "I promise that Im going to love you with all of my heart. You will never end up alone. Your father would have fallen in love with you, my son. I wonder if you will have his vibrant blue eyes. Or his dark hair. Or his defined chin. Maybe even his nose. I can't wait to meet you. I'll make sure we have a dog before you are born." 

She loved the way their baby move within her. It would kick her ribs and she would think, _This is SO Elliot's child._ She leaned her head down and kissed her bump, hoping that their son in some way felt her. "I love you, baby. Your father would have loved you too. I promise you that I will be there for you for whatever you need." 

She focused her attention back to the grave and sat in silence. In a tragic way, she was with her family. Her son and her husband. Just then, the wind blew in her hair. She felt his presence. He was with her. In her mind. In her body. In her heart. She then felt a pair of arms wrap around her shoulders. "Elliot?..." 

"Im sorry Livia, its me." 

"Maureen, hey baby," she said wiping away her tears. "How long have you been here?" 

"Long enough," she said looking at her sadly. "Livia, the doctor said no stress." 

"Visiting your father is not stress Maureen. He was my world. Im still in love with him. I don't think I ever won't be." 

Maureen looked at the woman she idolized sadly. This woman, who in her life has seen her as the peak of woman perfection, was completely broken in front of her. There was nothing that would heal that hurt. But Maureen remembered the doctorÕs warning. She needed to stay objective.

"Livia, I want you to do me a favor." 

Olivia looked at her with a questioning stare.

"I want you to go rest. Ask Uncle Don for a couple days off and take a trip down to the beach or something. You shouldn't just stay here. Your baby needs you to stay strong and healthy. My little brother needs you." 

They were both crying by this point. Olivia gathered her step daughter in her arms and cried. "You think he can see us down here Maureen? Do you think he's disappointed in me?" 

"Not at all, Livia. Not at all. I know he can see us. I remember him telling me how much he loved you one night when you took the twins for ice cream. I had never seen him so in love or happy before. I think he would want you and my brother to be happy too." 

"I won't ever fall in love again, Maureen," Olivia said with a determined look on her face. "No one could make me love them like your father." 

"I would never expect you to do so, Livia." Maureen said pulling her into another hug. 

"Would you do me a favor, Maureen?" Olivia asked holding onto her. 

"Sure," Maureen said wanting to soothe her.

"Will you be in the delivery room for me, when your brother is born?" 

Maureen froze as she felt tears stream down her face. She replied, with tears evident in her voice, "Of course, Livia. I'd be honored if I was there. Thank you for asking me." 

Both women were crying as they sat talking at Elliot's grave. Then a snowflake fell from the sky and landed in Olivia's hair. "Uh oh," Maureen said looking up at the sky. "We should leave." 

"You go on ahead, Maureen. I want to be here a little while longer." 

"Livia..." 

"I'll only be here a couple minutes. You can call me in ten to make sure that Im not still here." 

Maureen gave in and smiled sadly. "Okay. Bye Daddy. I love you. Love you Livia. I'll call you." 

Olivia chuckled and smiled. "I love you too, kid. Now get outta her." 

Olivia watched her walk away and wrapped her arms around her baby. "I guess I should go now, El." A tear dripped from her eyes and she moved her hands over his grave and touched the ground that now freshly fallen snow had covered. She placed her hand to her lips and placed it on his name. "I'll be on tomorrow, baby. I love you, El, forever." 


	12. Clark Elliot Stabler

Okay, I want to say thank you to all of your reviews on this story. I seriously was really really sad with some stuff going on in my own life when I started this, but all the people that have contacted me and have reviewed this story have help me out. So I just want to say thank you. Anyways... I want to thank all who have read and reviewed this story. It always makes me smile: **KaydenceRei, sayit, SVUgurl4life, GiggleGloWorm9987, GirlSummer OhSix Roxx, TruLuv, estrelita lovesSVU, DaniIsNotHere, Neela149, obsessedwithstabler, divamodest4life, SVUandEOareLOVE, BrittanyLS, tamasit1, LivNel4ever, MeloniFreak, Sweet-4-Stabler, angel1986, LivElLittle.** So thank you again and enjoy Chapter 12! 

Clark Elliot Stabler.

_Ring! Ring!_

Ugh! Maureen woke up to her cell phone and tried to remove herself from her boyfriend's embrace. He tightened and she laughed. "Sean, baby let me out." She laughed and kissed his lean arm. "My phone's ringing. Come on baby." 

_Ring! Ring! _

She grabbed the phone from her side table and read the name on the reader. **OLIVIA.** She moaned and answered the call. "Livia, its 2:37 in the middle of the night..." 

"Maureen!" Olivia said in a screech. 

"Olivia, what's wrong?" Maureen sat up in bed and pressed her palm against Sean's chest to wake him up.

"He's coming!" 

"The baby?" 

"What do I do? It hurts and Im alone. Im going to alone with a baby, Maureen!" Olivia was frantic. She was pacing through her living room holding tightly to her stomach knowing that one of the most painful and magnificent event was going to happen in her life. _"OWW!"_

"Olivia, just stay calm, okay and breathe." Maureen took a deep breath and Olivia followed over the phone line. "Okay, now stay calm and answer my questions with simple answers, okay? Do you have your overnight baby bag?" 

"Yes." 

"And are you sure that you are in labor?" 

"How the hell do you get confused about something like that Maureen! They are pains that hurt really REALLY bad! How do you NOT know you are in labor?" 

"Okay, Olivia, okay. Give me a few minutes and I'll be right there, okay?" 

"Okay." 

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_"Ahhhh!"_

"Okay, Mrs. Stabler, you are dilated. Now just a few pushes and your baby will be here." 

"Livia, do you hear that? My brother is coming into world." 

"I hear that, and I _feel_ that! We'll talk about this after he is out of my body, okay?" Olivia said with a squeak.

Maureen laughed and put the wet cloth of Olivia's head. "It's okay, just breathe." 

"Okay, Olivia, its time to push." 

Olivia held onto Maureens hand with her left hand and her knee with her right and pushed her self up. _"Ugh! Ahhhh!"_

"That's good, Mrs. Stabler. Do that again in the next contraction." 

The next contractions came within seconds on the next. She pushed and pushed. "It's okay, Olivia. Its okay. Breathe for me," Maureen said comfortingly.

Olivia nodded and cried.

"Okay, we see the head. Now only one more push." 

Olivia swallowed and pushed and screamed. Soon her screams weren't the only ones in the room. Both Olivia and Maureen were crying. "Congratulations Mrs. Stabler, Its a boy." 

"It's my son, Maureen. Its your father's son." 

"Olivia," Maureen said crying. The doctors and nurses cleaned up the baby. The nurse called Maureen over and placed the baby in her arms. Maureen was sobbing happy sobs. She turned to Olivia and smiled walking to her. "Olivia, here is my 8 pound 6 ounce baby brother, your son." 

Olivia was crying. She took him in her arms and kissed his forehead. She counted his fingers and toes and studied him. He had Elliot's hair color and jaw, but had her nose. He opened his eyes and Olivia cried. They were Elliot's. "Hi baby. Im going to love you forever." 

The nurse stood at the door and took in the scene. She was Elliot Stabler's head nurse when he would receive treatments. She got close to the Stabler Family. "Olivia." 

Olivia and Maureen looked at her direction and smiled. "Olivia, we need a name for that young man here." 

Olivia smiled and kissed his forehead. "Clark Elliot Stabler." 

"Beautiful name, Olivia. Beautiful." The nurse left the room and went to file paper work.

"Thank you, Olivia." 

Olivia removed her gaze from her beautiful son to Maureen who was crying sadly. "No," she touched her face and smiled. Ò"Thank you for being here. Im so glad you were here." 

Maureen leaned over her and kissed Clark's head. "I'll tell everyone outside." 

"Okay, and Maureen, we both love you." 

Maureen nodded and left the room.

Olivia stared at her son in her arms and wept. He looked so much like Elliot. She cried with joy and sadness. The most bittersweet feeling imaginable. "My boy, I love you so much. From the moment I knew you were in me, when I would feel you move and now you are in my arms. You are mine and I will love you forever, my darling boy." 

She saw his eyes open and she stared at the magnificent blue. They were so much like his father's. More tears gathered in her eyes as she spoke. "Your father loves you, my son. He may not be with us physically, but he is in your heart and mine. Your name is a part of him. Clark Elliot Stabler. I want the best for you, my son. You will always find your father in your and my hearts. And in the hearts of your sisters and brother and uncles and aunts. You are loved so much, my Clark. And remember, you will always have me. And I will love you forever. Your father will watch us from heaven and if you miss him, you can see him in your dreams. He lives in mine. He is also in your heart. Running through your veins..." 

Clark began to move and she laughed to herself. Elliot could never stay still for long. She kissed his forehead and a tear escaped her eye. "I love you, son." 

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Cragen watched the entire exchange and had to wipe away tears. He knocked and made his way into the room. "Hey Olivia. Maureen said that I could come in. She was calling Sean and Kathleen. Kathy and the twins are on their way and John, Casey and Fin are right outside. I wanted my own time with you and Clark before I headed back into the stationhouse." 

She smiled and motioned him closer. "Do you want to hold him?" 

Cragen stood stunned and looked at her with shocked eyes. He nodded as she placed Clark in his arms. Cragen smiled when little Clark opened his deep blue eyes. He smiled and looked at Olivia, "He's just like Elliot, but the nose." They both smiled and Cragen whispered, "Im your Grampa Cragen. I love your mother and loved your father and I can't wait to get to know you better. You are so wonderful." He kissed his little forehead and gave him back to Olivia.

The nurse came back into the room and smiled. "Im sorry, Olivia, but we need to have little Clark here taken to the nursery." 

"That's okay." She looked at her son and kissed him again and reluctantly gave him to the friendly nurse. "I love you, Clark." 

Once the nurse and baby Clark left, Cragen looked at Olivia. She looked tired, but labor does that. She smiled at him and he then grew serious. He reached in his pocket and pulled out an envelope. "This is for you." 

"Don?..." 

"I will see you later." He kissed her forehead and left the room. 

Olivia stared in shock. She looked at the envelope and questioned its contents. The outside read _My Olivia._ She opened the letter and was shocked by what she found. "Elliot?" The letter read:

_My Olivia._

I knew from the moment I saw you that I loved you. Im sorry that when you are reading this I am gone. I wish that I could lay beside you now and congratulate you on the birth of our child. Our child, Olivia... 

I hope whoever he or she is, that they have your strong will and determination. That they have your passion and hope. Those are few of the many qualities that I fell in love with when I met you. 

For years, you were my air and my reason for living. You kept me strong in the darkness and kept me laughing in the saddest moments. You always have and always will be the love of my life, my Olivia. Never forget that. Never...

One day, when our child happens to ask where I am, please tell them that I am right there beside you and that I live in your hearts. That I am the wind that blows in the trees. The rain that falls from the sky and the guardian angel that keeps you safe. Let them know they will never know what its like to be alone, because I am always with them. 

Olivia, I only ask you to still love me in the morning. I know you are laughing at that line right now, but I want you to know that you have and always will be my angel. One day I will see you again. Hopefully when you are old and gray and you can share all the adventures you had with our child. 

I will love you forever, my Olivia. Live for me and love me...

El.

Olivia broke down completely and sobbed. Never had she felt emptiness and wholeness all at once. Her heart would forever ache for her love, but now she had a reason to live. She had a reason to keep going.

Elliot's son... _their_ son.

Clark Elliot Stabler 

** So there is one chapter left... Don't stop reading! I'll post it by the end of the weekend! Thank you again... **


	13. Epilogue

Well, folks! This is the last chapter of the story! I want to thank all who have kept with this story and have encouraged me to write. Kay has been a great help with random thoughts to keep me moving! I'd love to thank all who reviewed! All of you made me smile. So, all who read last chapter: **SVUCHICA48, ItaliaRocks, Sweet-4-Stabler, obsessedwithstabler, divamodest4life, LivNel4ever, SVUandEOareLOVE, sayit, mstang.gurl, tamasit1, KaydenceRei, GiggleGloWorm9987, LivElRocks a lot, SVUgurl4life, LivElLittle, BrittanyLS, Svu Cutie** THANK YOU! I also want to thank SVUandEOareLOVE, for commenting to me needing an update! You brightened my day today! Today was my first day back at school and it was fun, but really REALLY long! I hope to start up on my new story soon... keep your eyes open. But for now, this is the end to my story LIFELINE. Thank you again for your support and please again, review! 

Epilogue 

_ 30 years later_

"Clark! Clark!" 

"Yeah, mom?" 

"Is Rachel coming here before the ceremony?" 

Clark made his presence known in the room and looked at his mother. She was beautiful in his eyes. Her hair had been dyed continuously since he was in his teens, but he could still see shades and strips of silver in her hair line. 

She was wearing a dress jacket and a skirt. She still wore her wedding ring and it made him smile. He only wishes for a love like the one she has for his father. He would have loved to meet him. To see him. To call him Daddy while passing the football in the living room with his mother yelling at them. Everyone has told him that he was a good man. A strong man. That was Clark's invisible standard in life... to make his father proud.

Around Olivia's neck was a locket that made Clark's heart clench. He remembered buying that for her. That memory so clear...

_It was the Christmas when he was seven years old. Clark had always seen his mother cry when he thought she wasn't being watched. He would hear her call for him when he would wake her up in the mornings. He would see the pillows on one side of her bed in hopes to replace him. He sees his father's pictures next to ones of him and his on her night stand._

Clark had woken up before his mother in the excitement of maybe seeing Santa. He saw his toys under the tree from him and he squeals, but he knows he doesn't have the one thing he really wants for Christmas... his father.

Instead of dwelling on that fact, the seven year old rushes into his room and looks under his bed. He finds it... the gift he bought for his mother. He smiles and looks at the wrapping and laughs to himself, "I may not be as good as Santa's elves, but I think I might make her happy..." 

Olivia was standing the doorway watching her son and she felt tears rush to her eyes. She swallowed her tears and knocked on her door, "Baby, did you look at the presents Santa left for you?" 

"Yeah, they are so cool! Do you wanna open them now?" He asked with a jump.

"Now, now... don't you want to wait for Jake and Maureen, Donny and Kathleen and Jessica, Dickie and Lizzie?" 

"No, I want to open them now. And remember, Donny and Kathleen aren't coming today." 

"Oh, thats right. Well, why don't we see what Santa left for you for christmas." 

He jumped but kept a grip on his mother's present and ran into the living room. He placed it next to him as he opened his gifts. They laughed and played. Yes, Olivia knew this Santa stage wouldn't last much longer, but she loved his innocence. 

All of his gifts were unwrapped and Olivia started to clean up. She was about to go into the kitchen when she felt a tug at her leg. "Mama..." 

"What baby?" 

"You forgot your present." 

"My present?" She asked with a smile. She assumed it was another class project.

"Yeah!" He moved behind him and grabbed the box and handed it to her while his eyes danced in delight. "Mama open it!" 

"Okay, baby." She pulled him up on her lap and carefully unwrapped the box. She felt the velvet, but thought nothing of it. She never guess what she was about to open... 

It was a platinum locket. A heart. She looked up at her son and he was smiling jumping. "Mama, Grampa Don and Uncle Munch and Uncle Fin helped me! Isn't it great! Open it!" 

She opened the precious locket and she felt her tears begin to choke her. It was hers and Elliot's wedding kiss picture... one of her prized possessions. It was smaller, but it fit inside one side of the platinum heart. On the other side was a picture of Clark. 

Tears dropped from her eyes and she looked at her son in her lap. His eyes went from happy to concerned and he wiped away her tears. "No tears Mama. I thought you would like it. Why are you sad? Is it not what you wanted." 

She cried and held him close to her. "Oh Clark, it is the best gift you could have ever given me. Thank you my boy. I love you so much." She kissed the top of his head and cried. Happy and loving tears and loving her son. "I love you Clark." 

"Mama, I hear you crying and it makes me sad. I want to make you feel better, but you know a seven year old can't do everything," he said proudly holding up seven fingers. 

Olivia smiled and held him closer as she listened to her son talk. He sounded so much like Elliot that it took her breath away. "My friend, Rachel, had a locket around her neck one day at school. I told her it looked pretty and she showed me her mama's and daddy's picture in it. So I thought you might like one too, so you wouldn't cry about Daddy so much." 

Olivia felt more tears stream down her face and she kissed the top of her son's head. "Thank you, Clark. It was the best present! I love you, my boy." 

"Im Daddy's boy too!" He said standing with pride with his magnificent blue eyes sparkling like the christmas blubs on the tree. She chuckled at the sight. He was the image of her Elliot, except for the fact that Clark had her nose. 

"I love you, Clark. Merry Christmas." 

"I love you too, Mama..." 

"Clark!" 

Clark snapped back into reality and saw his mother standing in front of him. "What did you ask, Mom? Im sorry." 

"I was asking if Rach was coming to the house before the ceremony." 

"No, she is going to meet us at the center." 

"Do you have the ring?" 

Clark smiled and felt the velvet box in his pocket. "Yeah, Mom. I got it." 

Olivia took a look at her son. It brought tears to her eyes. He was so much like his father. Clark was truly Elliot and Olivia Stabler's son. He had his confidence and stride, but had her understanding for victims. 

She saw him in his uniform and smiled. He was going to be promoted to detective. She was so proud of him. After his time in the Marines, he went and enrolled in the academy. With the help of his parent's popularity at the NYPD squads, he made his way up the ranks. Now he was going to be a detective working under Captain Odafin Tutuola's squad. She knew it would have made Elliot proud.

There was a knock at the door. "Mom, you want me to get that?" 

"Yeah, baby. Thanks." 

He left the room and she stood looking at her pictures of her and Elliot and her and Clark. She missed Elliot every moment of every day. She loved their son. He was everything to her and she saw so much of Elliot in him all the time. It was great. Her reason for continuing on...

She looked at their wedding kiss photo and smiled. She sat on the bed and picked it up, bringing it to her chest. "I miss you, baby," she whispered. "You would be so proud of Clark. I have a feeling that Rachel is going to say _Yes_ to Clark's proposal tonight. They have been friends for years. I am shocked that no one has married her yet. But Im glad it is going to be Clark. She will take care of him..." 

She looked down at the photo and smiled. "I will love you, forever baby. I better go out and check on our boy." She leaned down and kissed the side of the photo with his face and placed it back on her night stand. 

Clark made his way to the door and saw a woman outside. She was holding a letter and a clipboard. He opened it and smiled at her a famous Stabler grin. "Can I help you?" 

"Yes, are you Clark Stabler?" 

"That would be me, mam." 

"Sign here." He signed the dotted line and took the letter from her hands. He closed the door and made his way to the couch. It said nothing on the outside. 

He sat down and carefully opened the envelope. There he found a letter.

_My son._

I hope you know that I miss and love you and your mother deeply. I know that she never got a chance to tell me, but I had a feeling you were there...

I hope you know in your heart that I watched over you growing up. Though I wasn't there physically, I was there in the wind. I was there in the sun and I was there with the rain. I want you to know that I will always be there. Forever.

I hope you turned out like your mother. She is the most amazing woman... no, human being I had ever known. She lives with so much love and I bet that she raised you with that strength. 

I want you to know that I would have... no, am proud to call you my son. Please take care of your mother. I will love you both... forever.

Be good my boy. I will watch over you always... I love you.

Your father...

Elliot Stabler. 

Clark stared at the letter in amazement and cried silently. This was the closest he had ever felt to his father in his entire existence. Everything made sense now. Why he was living and how he always felt protected... his father was beside him the entire time.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and found his mother with concern in her eyes. "What is it, Clark?" 

He whispered hoarsely, "Dad..." 

She took the letter and read it with tears falling fast down her face. Clark pulled her toward her and cried with her. They weren't mourning... they were loving and embracing. 

The moment was long, and Olivia remembered the ceremony. She wiped the tears away from his face and smiled at Clark. "You will be good, my boy. Go on now." 

He kissed her forehead and folded the letter up. He slid it into the envelope and slid it into his coat. He smiled and led them out of the apartment.

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Olivia came home that night happy. The ceremony was beautiful. Clark was the image of his father as he accepted his position under Fin's squad. She sat with Rachel and cheered on for her son.

The dinner afterwards was full of celebration and promise. Rachel said Yes to Clark's proposal. They were going to be married soon. Olivia was confident that she was leaving her son in wonderful, caring hands.

Olivia dressed into some comfortable pajamas and slipped into their bed. She looked at their picture at the night stand and she smiled. "Goodnight my love, I love you." She fell into a gentle sleep.

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When she woke up the next morning, she wasn't in her apartment. No, she was in a white feathery place. She felt young and alive. When she looked down, she was. No more aged skin. No scars.

Simply Olivia.

She looked up and saw only one man staring at her.

Her Elliot.

"Elliot?" 

He smiled and they ran into each others arms and kissed passionately. Years of being apart and now they were together and would live in their love... forever. 


End file.
